The Gospel of Mary
by Emily Brunson
(c)2004
"The first form is darkness, the second desire, the third ignorance; the fourth is the excitement of death, the fifth is the kingdom of the flesh, the sixth is the foolish wisdom of flesh, the seventh is the wrathful wisdom. These are the seven powers of wrath." (8:10)
Part One
The Fall of Empires
Chapter One
"Thou dost frighten me with dreams and terrify me by visions." (Job 7:14)
"I hate fires," Nick said heavily, staring around them.
"We all do, Nicky," came Grissom's quiet reply at his side. "Come on."
It had probably been a very nice house. Not a mansion, nothing like that, but nice, broad expanse of expensively kept lawn, probably had a swimming pool around back. Good place to settle down.
Now it was a smoking hulk, charred timbers and debris everywhere, and where they were going to start was anyone's guess. For his own part he just followed Grissom and Catherine.
"So do we actually know this was arson?" Catherine asked, stepping carefully on scorched carpet.
"Not yet. Fire marshal hasnt made the call."
"Guess that's where we come in."
He could hear Warrick behind him, coughing a little when tenacious wind caught ash and sent it scattering. Nick silently handed him a mask, holding another over his own nose and mouth. The smell was sickening.
"The fire burned extremely fast," Grissom stated, standing near a blackened wooden beam lying canted with one end reaching for the sky. "The family were all upstairs. Master bedroom over there," he added, lifting his chin. "Right where we are is approximately the living room."
"And the kids' rooms," Catherine added gloomily. "Like a pancake."
"The second floor collapsed just before the first fire teams arrived." There was a smudge of soot on Grissom's white mask. "Maybe five minutes after the 911 call came in."
Nick tried not to shiver. "Five minutes from smoke to structural collapse? That wasn't just a hot fire; that sounds like a bomb."
"You're right, for all intents and purposes." Grissoms eyes flickered over him and back to the house. "Superheated the timbers. You've seen logs on a fire. The whole house was built around a series of hardwood timbers. Heat those fast enough, and the remaining sap inside explodes. It might not have even taken five minutes."
Nick was never really sure exactly what he was doing when it happened. Just poking around like everyone else, trying to sift a clue or two out of the disaster both fire and firefighters had left behind. He leaned down to get a closer look at something gleaming through the sodden remains of a couch, and reached out to push the debris out of the way.
It felt like a clap of thunder, although there wasnt any sound. Just the sense that his brain had somehow suddenly expanded, not painfully but nauseatingly, bloated with a fast dump of information.
A man's voice, screaming, a raw sound of agony that made Nick's balls try to draw up inside his body. A dog barking maniacally. His nostrils were filled with an alien smell, harsh, not smoke but the acrid stench of terror.
Nick coughed out a shocked grunt and flung himself away from the spot, falling flat on his ass into a puddle of water.
"Yo, Nick, you okay?" Warrick called from about ten feet further on.
Nick stared at his hand and then wiped it frantically on the dry front of his jeans.
"Find a hot spot?" Grissom asked, but he had no idea what to say. That hadn't been heat, nothing like it. What he'd felt had been cold, and utterly alien.
"M'okay," he forced himself to say, carefully not touching the couch while he levered himself up. Gunk everywhere, shit, he was a goddamn mess.
He stared at the spot and heard the man's scream again, fainter this time but just as horrifying. Without thinking about it Nick clapped his wet hands over his ears.
"Nicky?" Grissom had somehow gotten right in front of him, staring at him with a frown. "What happened?"
He blinked away tears that shouldn't have been there and did an unsteady backward two-step, away from Grissom. "He was right here," he heard himself say. Words echoing inside his skull. "He watched the whole thing. He got off on it."
Grissom's frown deepened. "Who watched? What are you talking about?"
"The guy," Nick snapped, shaking his head. "He watched it, and he didn't do a goddamn thing to help him."
"Wait a second, Nick, don't --"
"He stood right here." Nick gritted his teeth and forced himself to step back over next to where the couch lay. "This was the driveway. He waited until he heard the timbers start to give. He heard the guy screaming. He LIKED it, man, he loved it!"
"You're saying the arsonist stood -- right here? How can you tell? We don't even know if --"
"I saw it!" Nick bellowed. "I saw what he saw!"
What he saw then made him feel as if the rug had been pulled out from under him all over again. Grissom's concerned face, morphing into a set look of doubt. "Nick, you can't know for sure. Not until we've gone over everything. It's too early to tell yet." He smiled, patronizingly Nick thought. "Come on, go back to the car. You're soaked."
Nick swallowed hard and stood his ground. "He knew them," he said shakily, and had to clear his throat. The images crowded inside his head, clamoring, confusing. "He knew the people who lived here. He took his time, waited until they were gone, and he -- put it together. He knew -- he knew when they'd be home again."
"Put what together?"
"The bomb," Nick whispered. "It was a bomb."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Arson, probably." Lou Johansen sighed and shrugged. "Hell of it is, there's no way to know one way or the other. Not unless the needle just happens to jump out of the haystack. I've been a firefighter a long time, Gil. Needles have a tendency to stay put."
Gil nodded. "I think we'll stick around. See what else we can find."
"You're not saying you buy what the kid said?"
"I'm not discounting it, if that's what you're asking."
"Fine. Go through the whole site with tweezers if you want. Ill go so far as arson. But if my team didn't find any trace of any sort of bomb mechanism, and your team hasn't either, then I'm going to stand by my feeling that it wasn't a bomb."
Gil smiled briefly at him and went back to staring at the site. Or trying to, at least, while he reluctantly thought about the scene an hour ago.
Nick's face had been ashy white, dark eyes glaring at Gil as if they saw past him, through him. "He's a pro," Nick said hoarsely. "He has experience with explosives. It's why you haven't found any evidence."
"It's equally possible we haven't found that evidence because there's none to be found."
Nick shrugged. "It's there. He couldn't make it as perfect as he wanted to. He didn't have access to the right materials. But he was satisfied. It did the job."
"Job?"
"It was his job once, but not anymore. But now he sees it as his calling. Its more than work; he does it because he loves it."
"Theres no way you can know that."
Nick nodded absently. "Youre right." The hollow tone gave Gil a distant shiver of unease. "But I do." He looked at Gil again, and the vague air gave way to sudden shock. "But how? How do I know?"
"You dont. You suspect it. Thats all." Gil forced a smile. "Why dont you head back to the lab, Nicky?"
If anything Nicks face went even paler. "Im gonna see who the neighbors are," he said in a rusty strained voice. "Hes one of them. I know it."
"Dont "
"If Im wrong, Im wrong," Nick interrupted. He rubbed his cheek and left a smudge of carbon like a mottled tattoo. "His background is explosives. But he knows it doesnt look like a bomb, so no ones going to look. Hes counting on that." His smile was bleak and tired. "He didnt count on -- this."
"Count on WHAT? You dont --"
"Ill call you later, okay?" Nick was already walking away, his gait a little off-center, making him reel a tiny bit.
Gil watched him go, shaking his head as another vague chill washed through him.
"Got something."
Warricks voice jolted him out of his reverie, and he glanced over. Warrick was pointing at something in front of him.
"What?" Gil asked, walking over.
"Not sure."
Gil hunkered down to have a look. The piece of metal was violently twisted, the kind of damage he associated with extremely hot fires. "Could be anything."
"Yeah." Warrick nodded shortly. "And it could be a detonator."
Gil stared up at him. "Have you been talking to Nick?"
"Nope. Why?"
"Nothing. Bag it."
"Got it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He felt split in half. Part of him was pragmatic, skeptical, completely disbelieving. And the other part already knew what hed find. No surprises, at all. The second part of him didnt care about pragmatism. It simply knew.
Even then it shocked him to find what he did. Skepticism died hard, evidently; he wanted to deny the information staring him in the face, even when it vindicated his earlier statements. There was no comfort in being right. There was only wonder, and a sharp, acidic kind of terror.
By the time Grissom showed up, Nick had a dossier of sorts thrown together. Completely circumstantial at this point and not enough to warrant investigation on its own, most likely, but potentially devastating for all that.
Grissoms gaze had a funny quality to it. A little wall-eyed, even with his vaunted self-control. "Hi."
"Find anything?"
For a moment Grissom didnt say anything at all. Finally he gave a short nod. "Possibly."
"Bomb?"
"We wont know until we do some analysis."
"But thats what it looks like."
Another pause. "Maybe."
Nick nodded again and picked up his pile of printouts. "Heres your suspect," he said. "John Maeker, lives four doors down."
Grissom took the sheets like he was afraid theyd burn him. "Thats fast work. What we found could be meaningless, just scrap metal."
"Its not meaningless." Nick met his wary gaze steadily. "Its proof."
Grissom flipped through the pages quickly after putting on his glasses. "Military background. Specialist in explosives." His lips thinned. "Early retirement two years ago." His eyes flickered to meet Nicks. "Fits your profile. So whyd he do it?"
Swallowing, Nick replied, "I dont know."
Grissoms expression was studiously casual, but his eyes flared with some kind of feeling Nick didnt want to name. "Yes, you do," Grissom said crisply.
"He feels like he has no purpose now. The Army trained him and used him, and then threw him away. His skills have no use in regular society."
Grissom looked faintly sickened. "So he just decided to blow up the neighbors house?"
"Hes planned it for months. He had to make another fire. See it burn. He doesnt care if hes caught. He just had to make the fire."
"How do you know that?" Grissom asked in a strangled mutter. "How in the name of Christ could you possibly know that?"
"I dont know," Nick replied miserably. "I just do. Hes happy right now. He doesnt care that they died. Hes happy with his creation."
Grissom looked away, folding the papers carelessly. "Warricks having what we found analyzed. If its a detonator, or whats left of one, Ill let Brass know."
"You -- You wont tell --"
"Tell him you saw it all in a psychic flash at the site? I think Ill leave that part out for now."
A bubble of nausea bloated and popped in Nicks belly. "Good," he said faintly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I was at home."
Gil studied Maekers calm visage. Utterly expressionless. No fear, no anger. As smooth and even as new-fallen snow, and just as cold.
Brass stirred, leaning his elbows on his knees. "Anybody who could maybe back you up on that?"
Maeker shook his head slowly. "I live alone. I dont get out much."
"Your background in the military indicates a specialty in explosives." Gil shifted, keeping his eyes glued to the man. "Not a very useful civilian occupation. Whyd you retire?"
"It was time."
"According to you, or your COs?"
Maeker regarded him stonily. "Does it matter?"
"It might."
"Am I a suspect?"
"We have no concrete evidence a crime has been committed. Why, do you know something we dont?"
Maeker smiled, a slow, dead expression that chilled Gil more than anything else about this odd case. "A lot of things," Maeker pronounced. "A great many things."
"All right." Brass stood up with a pop of knee joints. "Why dont we take a little trip downtown, Mr. Maeker? Maybe that would jog your memory."
Maeker didnt react. The frigid smile faded back to nothing.
"Pyromaniac?" Brass asked a few minutes later, standing next to Gil as they watched Maeker being loaded into the back seat of a patrol car. "Firebug?"
Gil didnt look at him. "Or maybe someone society made to do something they dont need anymore. Discarded when he was no longer useful."
"So Nicky figured it out, huh?"
That made Gil glance over finally. "You heard about that?"
Brass nodded. "What I didnt hear was how in the hell he broke it before you even got back to the lab. Whats up with that?"
Gil shook his head slowly. "When I know, Ill tell you," he said slowly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Two
Every man before he dies shall see the devil. (English proverb)
It was a shitty day, and Ray Carmody had the headache to prove it.
Something landed on his desk, and he flinched.
"Aspirin." Fisher walked over, looking about as tired as Ray felt. "Can we talk?"
"You're an asshole," Ray snapped. He popped four Excedrin anyway, chasing them with cold coffee. "What are we gonna talk about? Huh? Weather? The fucking horse races?"
"How about the case?"
"Be my guest. Be my fucking guest." Ray leaned back and put his feet up on his desk. "Amaze me with your new insights. Because I'm all out of ideas."
Fisher sat down heavily across from him. "I know we've been at this a long time, but --"
"No, WE haven't been at this a long time. I have been at this a long time. A long, long goddamned time. You on the other hand have been on this for exactly four months. You still think we can break this, don't you?" He laughed harshly, shaking his head. "Real life, Fisher. This ain't Quantico, and you're so green you could march in the fucking St. Paddy's Day parade."
Sometimes he really wondered if Fisher were hearing-impaired. It was the only explanation for why none of Ray's slams seemed to affect him. "The pattern changes," he continued stolidly. "I showed you. It changes, two years ago. There's something there."
Ray sighed. Ah, fuck, it wasn't even any fun to give Fisher shit today. If that wasn't a sign of a truly, mindbogglingly bad day he didn't know what was. "I heard you when you told me the first time. I promise. And I think there is a change. I think you're right."
"So why don't --"
"Shut up. Listen to me, okay? It doesn't help. Nothing -- NOTHING -- helps."
For once Fisher looked slightly wounded. "But you've done fourteen years of --"
"I know how long it's been. Trust me. I know. I tell myself that every day." Ray reached for his cigarettes before he remembered the no-smoking policy. The thought made him feel like quitting. Not quitting smoking. Quitting the job. "But we have other cases to work on. Real cases. Criminals who aren't as smart as we are, criminals we can catch. Let's just do that, okay? Let's just -- let it go."
"Sir --"
"Tell me you have something legitimate to work on."
"I do, but --"
"Then why dont you make me happy and go work on it."
Fishers mouth turned down, but he nodded stiffly. "Yes, sir."
He didnt watch Fisher slink out. Instead he swiveled his chair to inspect the view out the window. Not a lot to see out there. Dust, and shimmering heat, and a few cars crawling along four stories down, looking like Tinker Toys.
He sipped his dreadful coffee and set the cup down before levering himself out of the chair. Christ, the years werent getting any easier on him, either, if the rifle-shot pop of his knees had anything to say about it. He wandered out to the restroom in the hall and washed his hands unnecessarily, staring at himself in the mirror. The man staring back wasnt exactly romanticized, either. More salt than pepper these days, starting to look his age after a long time of putting it off.
Well, snipe-hunting will do that to you, Ray my boy. Chasing ghosts of people too long dead, people everyone but you has forgotten. Seeing connections where there arent any. Its a hard way to live, and a fast way to grow old.
His phone was ringing when he got back to his office, and he glared at it for three more rings before finally picking up.
Shelley sounded breathless. "I know you said no calls this morning, but line 2 is Mike McAda. He said --"
"Its all right," Ray interrupted. "Ill take it." He reached over and punched the flashing button. "Hey, Mike. Whats up?"
"Hey, Ray." McAda sounded reassuringly himself: all smooth good-old-boy camaraderie masking the real purpose of his call, which was probably lousy news. "Hows it going?"
Ray sank down in his chair and eyed his cup of cold coffee balefully. "It was going all right," he lied, "but if I know you it just got worse."
No trace of offense colored McAdas tone. "Got a DB over here, and I remembered what you said last spring about that case in Reno. Looks like the same MO."
"Tell me."
"Just between you and me, right?"
"Of course."
McAda sounded a lot crisper suddenly. "42-year-old male, Hispanic, appears to have been strangled. Rancher turned up the body while he was out checking his fences early this morning."
Ray nodded to himself. "Im assuming this will become pertinent at some point?" he asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose between two fingers.
"Well, since the guy was evidently a man of the cloth ."
Ray sat up. "Priest?"
"Father Jesus Martinez. Maybe he never got over the name." McAda paused to appreciate his own lame joke and continued, "MEs having a look now, and well have a definite cause of death later this week. But I thought you might like a heads up."
"Did anything else turn up at the scene?"
"Dont know that yet. Got the CSIs looking around right now."
Ray sagged a little in his chair. "Grissom?"
"Hes the man."
"Great."
"Come on, Ray. He dont bite."
He barks, Ray thought. Thats plenty. "Let me know what else you find, okay?"
"Always."
"Thanks, Mike. Owe you one."
He could almost hear McAdas satisfied smile. "I live to serve, Agent Carmody."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late that night, Marcia closed the book she was reading with a snap. When he glanced over his questioning look turned to dread. He met her frustrated expression with as much calm as he could muster.
"I know," Ray said, holding up his hand. "Im sorry."
"You said a year." Her voice had lost its normal mellifluous quality; she sounded tired, and angry. "One year. Its been nearly eighteen months, Ray. When will it be enough?"
He took off his reading glasses and set them on the bedside table, resisting the urge to sigh. "Weve been over this before. Ive told you everything already. Its just temporary, until --"
"Until what, Ray?" she shot back icily. "Until youve done your penance? Until youve caught enough real criminals to make up for the one that doesnt exist?"
It always hurt when she said that. Years of hearing it from his superiors didnt make it any easier to hear from his wife. "I dont know," he told her as calmly as he could. "Maybe."
She didnt say anything for a second. When she spoke again, the cruel edge had blunted slightly. "You had a great career, and you could get it back. You know you could. Leave it alone, Ray. Forget about it. And let us get back to our real lives."
"This isnt --"
"This isnt our lives! This is a goddamn holding pattern, and you know it!" She tossed the book on the floor, where it thudded sharply on the thin rug. "I want to go home," she added thickly. "I hate Nevada. Elise hates Nevada."
Anger was harder to control when it was as leavened with guilt as his was now. He sat up and swung around to stuff his feet in his waiting slippers.
"What, Ray?" Marcia said to his retreating back. "Gonna have a drink? Drown your sorrows? How can you drown mine, too, huh? Can you do that? Can your Apostle do that for us?"
His teeth were grinding so loudly he though Elise could probably hear them down the hall in her bedroom. Downstairs he veered carefully around the door to the study, making himself head for the kitchen instead. He drank orange juice and took his cigarettes outside to smoke.
It was cold out, the crisp dry kind of Nevada cold that he silently relished. Nothing hidden about the desert; nothing seductive, covert, no pretty Virginia window-dressing. The desert was what it was, no apologies, and no quarter. It didnt accuse, and it didnt care about guilt. It simply was.
He dragged hard on his cigarette and stared at the bright glow of Las Vegas lights over the hard-won trees. That was the problem with fighting with Marcia. She wasnt wrong. And neither was he, and there werent any easy answers. He could apologize for bringing them here, and he had. Too many times to count. But no apology changed anything. An apology didnt change what hed spent too much time doing, time he could have spent edging up the Bureau ladder instead of chasing the ghosts of a killer whose existence was as debatable as this sere desert wasnt.
Christ, he was thirsty.
He was lighting his second smoke when he remembered Mike McAdas phone call. Mike was laid-back and crooked as the day was long, but he was also smart, and nearly as paranoid as Ray himself. If Mike thought this new murder was worth a look, it almost certainly was. He didnt call for no reason. Mike never did anything without a reason.
He couldnt face going back upstairs. Instead he got clothes out of the hamper and dressed in the laundry room. Unwashed, but there was a kind of simplicity in wearing dirty clothes that were already on the laundry schedule, so it wasnt a problem.
Besides, if he ran into lab people, it would probably make him look like less of a Bureau creep.
He put on the deck shoes he usually wore for gardening, and slipped away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, doc."
Robbins glanced around, eyes narrowed. "Agent Carmody." His voice was more than dry; the vocal equivalent of the dust outside. "What brings you here this time of night?"
"Insomnia," Ray told him as lightly as he could. He walked over to the table. "Is this Father Martinez?"
"Someones been telling tales out of school."
"Im not here in an official capacity. Howd he die?"
"Unless youre representing the FBI," stated a chilly voice behind him, "that informations off limits."
Ray took a second to school his features to an impassive mask before turning. "Dr. Grissom. Fancy meeting you here."
"This isnt your case, Carmody," Grissom said, snapping latex gloves on his hands. "If we need your help, well let you know."
"I know your opinion of my predecessor wasnt very high, and from what Ive heard, deservedly so." Ray slid his hands into his pockets. "But Im not him."
Grissoms gaze was as impermeable as granite. "Be that as it may, we have work to do. If youll excuse us?"
"Dr. Robbins, can I ask you one question?"
Robbins had the hangdog look of a guy stuck in between a rock and a very unyielding place, and gave him a slow, reluctant nod.
"What did you find in his chest?"
He didnt need to hear the answer. The narrow surprise in Robbins eyes told him. Ray nodded, as well. "Good night, gentlemen."
Grissom caught up with him in the hallway. "God damn it, Carmody, you cant just barge in here and --"
"Correction, Dr. Grissom, I can." Ray faced him squarely, meeting Grissoms dislike with tired calm. "You know, it would make things a hell of a lot easier if you didnt treat me like the enemy."
"How did you know?" Grissom asked, as if Ray hadnt said anything at all. "If you have information relevant to my case --"
"I dont." Ray gazed at him, seeing Marcias angry face. "I dont have anything."
Grissom frowned. "Then why are you here?"
"Chasing a ghost. Thats all. Just chasing ghosts."
He didnt wait for a reply. Outside the lab the night had gotten colder, and Ray shivered in his sweat shirt. And then he thought about Robbins autopsy, and the object in Father Jesus Martinezs chest, and he shivered again. This time he wasnt feeling the cold at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Three
"Our passion is our task. And the rest is the madness of art." (Henry James)
Sleep was next to impossible, but he tried anyway. Shot of bourbon, Tylenol PM, white noise from the radio, tuned to static. But behind his closed eyelids he saw fire, orange and yellow flames and smoke, curling like baroque traceries of destruction.
He sat up, aware of the afternoon light trying to pry fingers under the bedrooms blinds, and listened to his own ragged breathing for a minute before throwing back the covers and giving up.
With no sleep and after a night like the one hed just had, he figured hed be worth shit at work. But instead of tired and draggy he felt peculiarly energized. It wasnt a very positive feeling. Twitchy anxiety made him hesitate before touching anything. Hed never been so glad for latex. It hadnt stopped last nights weird -- whatever it was -- but there was a little comfort in knowing he wasnt making real skin-to-skin contact.
But even when he did, nothing happened. The things he touched were just things: coffee cup, microscope, doorknob, chair back. No more sudden core dumps of information, jittery jagging images that made his brain feel as if it too were furiously afire.
His shift was almost done before he had to deal with anything regarding the Maeker case again, and hed relaxed a little by that time. Enough that he could face Grissom and not feel like immediately apologizing.
"Brass says he thinks theres enough for an indictment." Grissom pushed his glasses up his nose, frowning at the papers he held in his hand. "Not the first fire, looks like. Maeker lived in Albuquerque before Vegas, and there was a suspicious home fire in his neighborhood there as well. Never tied to him until now, but its pretty interesting."
Nick shifted in his chair. "Warrick turn anything up with the stuff he found?"
"Not sure yet. Ought to know by tomorrow." He sat back and took off his glasses, and didnt say anything else.
Nick took in his quenched expression with a flicker of unease in his belly. "What?" Nick asked shortly.
Grissom gazed at him. "How did you know?"
Nick swallowed dryly. "That it was Maeker?" He couldnt quite meet Grissoms stare. "A hunch."
"Hunches are based on information, Nick. But you didnt have any, certainly no more than the rest of us did. It sounds more like an epiphany than a hunch."
"What difference does it make? Got the bad guy, everyone can go home happy."
"Tell me how it happened."
The flickering anxiety in his belly surged, making him swallow again. "You really want to know?"
Grissom nodded. "I really do."
"Look, I just touched something, okay? And I knew. Thats it."
"I dont believe you. I think it was more than that." Grissom leaned forward, brows drawing together in a frown. "I saw your face, Nick," he continued urgently. "You didnt just know. You saw it happen, didnt you?"
His brain echoed with remembered screams, and the belling sound of the dogs endless, frantic barking. "I guess. Something like that."
"Has this sort of thing happened before?"
"What do YOU think?" Nick snapped. His face felt hot, embarrassed. Afraid. "No," he added curtly. "Nothing like this."
But hadnt there been something? a tiny part of his mind whispered. Is that true? Or do you want it to be true? Enough that youd --
"Im not accusing you." Grissoms expression softened, took on a film of concern. "If it was a hunch, it was a damned helpful one. But you have to admit it sounds wild."
"Yeah, well, do me a favor? Dont tell anybody else about it. All I need is people treating me like Im some kinda damn -- psychic."
"One time, its a hunch." Grissoms mouth curved in a rueful smile. "But if you start getting more of these hunches, let me know?"
When the damn pigs fly, Nick thought, and nodded. "Sure. Youll be the first to know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two nights later, it happened again. But this time with a vicious power that made Maekers bomb look like a firecracker.
The night didnt start out badly. In fact it went pretty well, all things considered. First some finishing work on the Maeker case, which appeared to be heading rapidly toward the promised indictment. A search of the mans home had turned up some incriminating materials, and Brass told Nick not long after his shift started that he figured an arrest was imminent.
Nick wasnt quite sure how that made him feel, considering he might as well have seen it in a fucking crystal ball for all the empirical provability it had, but he reminded himself of his own words to Grissom a few days ago: what difference did it make? The only thing he was completely sure of was that Maeker had built a homemade bomb that took the lives of several innocent people. That was enough to salve his twitchy nerves. At least somewhat.
By the time he met up with Catherine at their assigned scene, he felt pretty much as solid as he had in days. The case was fairly straightforward, if somewhat gruesome: death by misadventure, some kid out farting around on his friends motorcycle, ending up the way too many of those did.
Catherine looked up at Nick, nose wrinkled. "What do you think? Booze, drugs, or bad luck?"
He shrugged. "Take your pick. Tox screen will say for sure."
She straightened and peeled her gloves off. "Know what they call motorcycle riders in the ER?"
"What?"
"Organ donors."
The guys friends predictably werent that much help.
"Jesus, he didnt have that much to drink." This particular friend was a type Nick recognized too easily: future frat president, slicker than snot and faintly repellent. Nick wasnt sure why lately hed been viewing his own fraternity history with a more jaundiced eye, but he chalked it up to maturity. Or maybe a growing cynicism.
"He was okay when he left," the guy added, jaw stuck out and eyes meeting Nicks confidently. "It was an accident, all right? Shit happens."
Biting back the urge to comment on the guys blasé attitude in the face of death, Nick nodded. "Your bike?"
"Yeah. Man, look at it."
Catherines mouth had a tense look Nick recognized as the mirror twin of his own creeping disgust. "So you guys had a party, you let Mark go for a ride on your new bike "
"Not that new. Got it four months ago."
"New-ish. And nobody saw the actual crash?"
"Janie. But its dark, man, who can say?"
"Right. Served alcohol at this party?"
"Just beer."
"Last time I checked beer contained alcohol. How much beer?"
This time the guys look was mulish. "I already told the cops. You a cop too?"
"No," Nick said flatly. "Were crime scene investigators."
"This wasnt a CRIME "
"If you let your buddy Mark drive your motorcycle knowing he was shitfaced? That, my friend, is a crime in all fifty states."
It got him the first honest look he thought this guy had worn since they met him. Nick wanted to smile at the scared flicker in the guys eyes. "Im sure the police will be in touch once weve gotten Marks toxicology results," Nick added smoothly. "Thanks for your time."
When he turned away he stopped trying not to smile. Felt too damn good, wiping that smug look off that fucking kids face.
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was overtime before he met Catherine at the morgue. He was surprised to see Grissom there as well, but then hadnt he worked another DB that night? Nick wasnt actually sure, but what the hell. At least the case he was one was looking pretty cut and dried.
"Your timing is impeccable," Robbins told them with a crooked smile. He lifted his chin in the direction of a file on a table nearby and went back to his work. "Toxicology, the usual suspects."
Nick brushed by Grissom on his way to retrieve the file, giving him a fast just-us-grunts smile. "So was he tanked?" he asked over his shoulder.
"BAL was .16. Your motorcycle rider shouldnt have even been allowed to take a walk."
"Figured." Nick tucked the file under his arm and wandered back over. "Guess Ill give Lt. Hankins a call." To his shock he almost made a crack about not needing any psychic abilities on this one, but bit it back before it could escape his lips.
"So what you working on?" Catherine had been standing at Robbins elbow, looking on with professional curiosity. Now she leaned forward a little.
Grissom gave her a brief look. "Terry Fletcher, age 34. Wife found him, dead of a single gunshot wound."
"Ah. Any leads?"
"Might have, if we finish this autopsy before the next millennium."
Catherine grinned and ducked her head a little. "So, well stop bugging you, how about that?"
Grissom looked amused. "No problem. Good work, you guys."
"Easy work," Catherine told him dryly, but by that point Nick had pretty much stopped listening.
He didnt ever figure out exactly why he decided to take a closer look himself. He wasnt normally that interested in other cases. Yes, this was his livelihood, and he found all their cases at least professionally interesting, but it didnt necessarily mean he wanted to work the ones he wasnt assigned to. Too much of a busmans holiday, and he had enough crap to deal with without taking on someone elses as well.
But that didnt stop him from stepping over, near the end of the table. Terry Fletcher was a heavyset man, and the first thing Nick thought was how his shoes must have been too tight, maybe from edema, because his feet were puffy, toenails a little discolored. Diabetes? Certainly possible.
He let his eyes travel up Fletchers body, and felt his hands tingling. The room was so quiet. All he could hear now was his own heart, thudding away in his chest. Too fast, and the room was so cold, so goddamned cold.
Without thinking he reached out and touched Fletchers ankle.
A welter of images, flickering and jagging like a videotape on super-high speed. Faces, an elderly woman with tears drying on her face, a boy of maybe nine, gazing over his shoulder at him with a grin, a girl so beautiful she belonged on magazine covers. And places, a house with an immaculate yard, gorgeous roses, clipped grass and perfect hedges, and a swing on a white-painted porch. An empty field after harvest, and dust curling down the furrows. A lake Tahoe? and a boat, and hands stringing a fishing line with a chunk of bright orange cheese.
A mans face, twisted in shock and horror. Blood on a mirror, and a finger tracing a figure in the gore. A woman in a black dress, staring with dead eyes at nothing.
When the voice came he wanted to scream, but he didnt know if he was, couldnt feel his throat anymore, couldnt feel if he had air in his lungs. He listened because he had no choice, because the sound was all-encompassing, a trumpet blast pointed not at his ear but at his mind, a furious, elated bellow of triumph.
Screaming, Nick tore his hand away, and then the autopsy room was gone, and the voice as well, and he sank into welcome, silent blackness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Four
Behold ye scoffers, for I will work wonders in your days, which ye will not believe. (Book of Habbakuk)
"Nick. Nicky. Wake up. Come on, open your eyes."
His eyelids felt sticky, and he pried them open with difficulty. Above him, hovering like anxious birds, were Grissom, Catherine, and Doc Robbins. Catherines face was white as death.
"Nick, are you okay?" she asked, touching his shoulder.
He blinked at her, and glanced at Grissom, and something whispered in his mind, some remnant of awfulness. He drew a harsh gasp and sat up, and the room swam for a second.
"Not so fast." Grissoms mouth was drawn into a tense line, but his hand was gentle, urging Nick to lean against the table leg. "Take it easy. You fainted."
"How are you feeling?" Robbins asked. He had a black bag open on the floor next to his crutch, and Nick thought about how weird it was, because he was still alive, and Robbins worked with dead people. Didnt have to ask them how they felt, did he? "Dizzy? Any nausea, headache?"
Nick worked some spit into his ash-dry mouth. "What happened?"
No one said anything for a second, and when he looked at them he saw a trio of similar expressions: wary, uncertain, more than a little shocked. "You might have to tell us, Nick," Catherine said finally, giving him an unhappy little half-smile. "I looked over at you and you looked like you were having a seizure or something. You started talking, I mean, yelling. And then you passed out cold. Happened so fast, we didnt " She broke off, looking more unhappy. "Nobody had time to catch you. Are you okay?"
"Talking?" Nick cleared his throat rustily. "What did I say?"
He didnt miss the look all three of them exchanged. "What?" Nick added more strongly. "I dont remember much." Anything, he almost added. But he did. A little.
Only Grissom met his eyes fully. His expression was impossible to read. "It wasnt English," he said calmly.
Nick stared at him, dizziness forgotten. "Huh?"
"I dont even know it was real words as such. No language I recognized." His tone was faintly peeved, as if that puzzle surprised him.
"Nick, Id like to get you over to the ER," Robbins said. "Get a CT scan, make sure you dont have something going on. I cant say if this was a seizure or not until we get some tests run."
"Is Do you think thats what happened?"
Robbins shrugged. "Its certainly possible. When you woke up you were pretty post-ictal. Confusion is standard after a seizure."
"I dont feel confused now."
"Whats todays date?"
Nick swallowed. "March 18th."
"Whos the president of the United States?"
"Youre kidding me."
The ghost of a smile flitted over Robbins grizzled features. "Humor me."
"George Bush. Dubya. I didnt have a seizure."
"Id prefer if we "
"And I dont need to go to the hospital." Nick grasped the table leg and hoisted himself up, glad the room didnt immediately turn into a Tilt-A-Whirl this time. "Im okay."
"Nick, why dont you go?" Catherine asked in a low voice. Her hand was cool on his arm. "It wont take long. And you can make sure nothing else is going on."
"Im already sure." A ripple of anger made him swallow. "We all know what it is," he added gruffly, flicking a glance at Grissom. "Were just not saying it out loud." He took a step forward and looked down at Fletchers blue-tinged body. "He had a stone, didnt he? In his chest."
When he looked over Robbins face was almost as pale as the dead mans. "How "
"Where his heart was," Nick continued flatly. "The killer removed his heart and replaced it with a big rock."
"Who have you been talking to?" Grissom gazed at him with what looked a lot like anger, but wasnt. Just that familiar, terrible intensity, now point in Nicks direction. "How do you know that?"
Fighting down the urge to laugh, or maybe cry, Nick shook his head. "Who do you think Ive been talking to, man? Nobody! Ive been doing my job. I know it the same way I knew Maeker blew that family to kingdom come the other day." He held his hand over the body, an inch from touching. "I know it because I SAW it. You think Im making this up? How could I know this? How?"
"You couldnt," Catherine said unsteadily. He hated the almost fearful look in her eyes. "Theres no way you could know. Unless you were here."
"But I was with YOU," Nick shot back. "Ive never seen or heard of this guy. And his chests already sewn up again, I mean, its not like I watched the whole autopsy. What kind of evidence do you guys need? I didnt have a seizure, okay? I " His momentum ran out abruptly; he felt suddenly exhausted, and bewildered. "I dont know what I had," he added after a silent moment. "But I saw things. I saw what he did to Fletcher."
"Who?" Grissom demanded. "What who did?"
"The killer. I saw parts of it. And there was more." He put his fingers to his forehead, where a tiny headache had blossomed. "I dont remember that as well."
"Nick, what youre talking about " Robbins broke off, looking flummoxed. "Youre talking about a psychic ability, and thats pure science fiction. You couldnt possibly "
"Morris Pearson was legit." Nick ignored Robbins, focusing on Grissom. "He was right. About everything. You saw it yourself."
"Most of what Pearson said was so vague as to be interpreted almost any way you like. He gave very few "
"He came to my own goddamn house because he knew I was in danger." Nick glared at him. "He was a mile ahead of you, and you know it! How could he have known that? He knew about Jane Galloway, he knew about me."
Grissom sighed. "Nick, our experiences with Morris Pearson were far from empirical data. I agree there were some startling congruencies there, but its not proof."
"What would be proof for you?" Nick asked. His heart thudded in his chest, and his headache was getting worse by the second. "What would it take for you to believe he was right? Or that I am? I respect the scientific method as much as you do, but I also know what I know. Pearson saw Nigel Crane fall through my ceiling, hours before it actually happened! How can you stand that and tell me that isnt proof? I was THERE! I lived it!"
"Nick, I need you to calm down." Robbins had an anxious look now, a doctor-y look. "This isnt going to be resolved right here, this very moment, and Im not convinced you havent experienced a neurological event. If nothing else, will you go home and rest for a day or two?"
As much as he was not going to admit it to anyone there, he felt like hammered shit about now. His head was killing him, and he felt like he might hork up his dinner sometime pretty soon. He settled for shrugging. "Sure. Okay. I can do that."
"Catherine, would you drive him home? He shouldnt operate a motor vehicle right now."
She nodded. Grissom looked thunderous, but said nothing at all. Nick thought about some parting shot, but his head hurt too much to come up with anything good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He started noticing it the next night at work. Subtle, not really all that big a deal, but it was there. Definitely there.
"What?" he asked finally.
Greg blinked at him. "What what?"
Nick drew a deep breath for calm. "What was the look for?"
"What look?"
"Look, you got something you want to ask me? Ask me." He sat down in the nearby chair and crossed his arms. "Im an open book, man. Shoot."
"Im not asking anything." But his eyes flickered when he said it, and it didnt take a psychic to see right through him.
Nick nodded. "You want to know if its for real?"
A painfully evasive look twisted Gregs features. "Its none of my business, Nick, I mean "
"The answer is, I dont know. I dont have the slightest idea whats going on. There. Now you have something to tell people around the water cooler."
He stood up fast, and the chair shot out behind him, rolling on casters. Greg now looked absolutely miserable. "Aw, Nick, come on. Word got around, okay?"
"What word? Word about what?"
"The guy that blew up the house. You know."
"And what are people saying?"
"Just that you knew it was him before anyone else."
"Thats all?"
Gregs eyes slid away from his own. "Well. And that you kinda, you know. Just. Knew."
Hearing it spoken aloud had a curiously deflating effect; it didnt sound quite as weird as hed thought. Or else so weird his mind didnt quite bend itself around it, one, he wasnt sure which. Whatever, he now felt tired, and on display. "I did," he said hollowly. "I just knew."
Greg looked back up, this time with real surprise. "So its true? Oh man, thats so freaking cool. Like a psychic flash or something?"
"I guess. Something like that. Look, its no big deal, all right? Just one of those freaky things, thats all." He forced a smile that felt as fake as well, most psychics hed ever heard about, actually. "Could have happened to anyone. Weve all had that kind of thing happen once or twice. You know, got a feeling you know whos on the phone before you answer it. That kind of thing."
"Knowing whos on the phones a little different from knowing who killed four people," Greg said softly.
"Maybe. But maybe its not that different. Just a different flavor of the same thing."
Greg nodded, looking completely unconvinced. "Sure, Nick. Okay."
"Im not a psychic, Greg. Whatever people say. Im just a regular guy. Just like I always was."
Greg nodded again. It made Nick feel like screaming.
The rest of the night was pretty normal, but he couldnt shake the feeling that people were staring at him. Talking about him when he wasnt around. Which was stupid, because if he WAS psychic now, god only knew how, hed know anyway, right? Not just feel paranoid hed have the whole story. But he didnt. Just this creeping uneasy feeling, like the walls had both eyes and ears.
It took him by surprise when Grissom stopped by.
"Hey," Nick said, taking off his goggles. "Whats up?"
"Got a minute?"
Nick felt his fragile smile slipping. "Sure."
"Come down to my office."
Never failed. Going to Grissoms office was just exactly like elementary school. Going to the principals office. Only he wouldnt get detention or a smack from the paddle this time. This was grownup shit, and he felt as if he were wading through wet cement, walking down the hall.
By the time he got there Grissom was already seated at his desk. "Have a seat," he said mildly.
"Whats up?" Nick sat cautiously.
No smile lightened Grissoms features; he looked as bleak as Nick had ever seen, which was saying something. "Im pulling you off your current cases."
Nick recoiled. His heart triphammered in his chest. "Pull "
"I want you to work with me on this one. Its not censure. Dont think that."
"Oh." He relaxed minutely, still staring at Grissom. "Your case? Fletcher?"
Grissom nodded. "Except it isnt just Fletcher," he added grimly. "Its potentially a lot bigger than that."
Nick sagged a little. His pulse was still way too fast. Damn, Grissom really knew how to get a guys attention. "Okay. Look, you know Im all over it, whatever I can do." He paused. "This isnt just needing an extra hand, is it?"
There had been surpassingly few times he could remember seeing Grissom look abashed. The expression sat strangely on his features, like an ill-fitting suit. "No," he admitted, ducking his head a little. "Its not."
Nick nodded slowly. "Its because of last night."
"I had an interesting conversation last night with Ray Carmody. You know him?"
"Not no, Ive never met him. Hes the ASAC, right? FBI?"
"Agent Carmody has an informant somewhere. Im not sure where, and believe me Ill find out." Grissoms jaw twitched. "But what was interesting about this conversation is that there is a possible connection between Fletchers murder and several older crimes. Crimes Carmody has investigated in the past."
Nick drew a breath, and Grissom held up a finger. "It gets a lot better. Because Carmody has chased this killer for a very long time. And to date hes never had a shred of concrete evidence to prove the person even exists. Hes a ghost."
Swallowing, Nick said, "Im gonna assume you dont mean a real ghost."
"There are some notable differences between our cases and those Agent Carmody worked earlier."
"Cases? Plural?"
Grissom reached out and picked up a thick file. "The first Las Vegas victim was Father Jesus Martinez. The M.O. was different. But."
"The heart. It was gone."
Grissom nodded. "You were right about Fletcher. And Martinez was the same."
"So what do you want me to do?"
Grissom leaned forward, holding out the file, and Nick took it with cold fingers. "Read this for starters. Ill get you what I have on Fletcher when youre done. After that?" Grissom sat back again, lacing his fingers together. "Work the case," he said simply. "Because our cases are so far limited to the state of Nevada, Carmody cant help in any official capacity. But hes availed us of his notes, and that might help. Well meet with him tomorrow."
"Okay."
"What happened last night was inexplicable." Grissoms expression darkened, looking frustrated. "Im not going to say that I believe in paranormal phenomena. Or that Im so stuck on this case that Ill grasp at straws. What I do believe is that there is an explanation for things. We may not have that explanation yet, but it doesnt mean there isnt one. Do you take my meaning?"
Nick nodded stiffly. "Kinda how I feel, too."
Grissom smiled fractionally. "That said, I think you had some insight, and Id be a fool not to put you to work where you might be able to benefit the case in ways others cant."
"So just in case."
"I guess so. Yes."
"I dont know anything," Nick said, feeling the words out cautiously. "I saw some stuff. But I dont know what it means. I dont know what any of it means. Or if it means anything at all."
"The things you said last night they bothered me. Im familiar at least in passing with a lot of languages, and these didnt even ring a bell. I wrote down what I could remember of them." Grissom shifted papers around and pulled out a sheet of legal-sized yellow paper. "It wasnt much. But I called an acquaintance of mine in California, a linguistics professor at UCLA. I gave him what I had, and he was fascinated. He couldnt identify the language with ironclad certainty, but he did have some comments."
The room felt as if someone had cranked down the air-conditioning; it was meat-locker cold. Nick fought down a shiver. "Comments?"
"The closest match he could come up with was Aramaic. Precursor to modern Hebrew, the language Christ spoke. A dead language, long dead."
"Aramaic?" Nick stared at him. "Thats I dont speak any other languages. I mean, a little Spanish, I took French in college. But "
"He couldnt be certain, and he did have a couple of names, people he said might be able to say more accurately what this was. I want you to look at what I wrote down. See if it seems familiar."
Nick took the paper he held out, holding it gingerly. "O-kay."
Grissom had shitty handwriting, and for a second Nick almost made a joke about how maybe the alphabet was just as foreign as the language. And then he forgot about making jokes, and took in the words.
It wasnt anything like the previous jolts. Nothing overt, nothing he could pin down. And he certainly didnt know what the words meant.
But some part of him knew something. He could feel it in the prickle of the short hairs on the back of his neck, the way his hands started to shake. It was gibberish, but it wasnt. What it was, he couldnt say. But not garbage.
"Nick?"
Grissoms soft question made him jerk in his chair. He drew a fast breath. "I cant read it," he said, hearing his own voice as if from a distant room. "It doesnt mean anything to me."
Grissoms eyes narrowed just a little. "Really?"
His throat had gone painfully dry. "Its familiar," Nick added hoarsely. "Its like nonsense syllables. But I feel like Ive heard them before."
"I cant swear that what I wrote down is anything like accurate. Maybe in the ballpark, but more than that I seriously doubt. But you went white as a sheet when you read those words."
Nick reached out and put the sheet of paper on Grissoms desk. He felt absurdly like crying. "This is all kinda freaking me out," he mumbled, not meeting Grissoms all-too-penetrating gaze. "I dont -- I dont know anything. I just saw some things."
"Tell me what you saw? What you can remember?"
"Its all mixed up together. I cant -- I dont know whats what. I dont."
"You screamed, Nick," Grissom said gently. "Just before you fainted. You screamed. Was it because of what you saw?"
Nick tried to swallow, and couldnt anymore. The dryness in his throat had become real pain. "No," he choked. "No."
"What?"
"I dont know."
But the thought was right there, immediate and irrefutable: You do know. You know good and well.
"Nick?"
He heard his throat make a dry little "glick" sound before he replied. "It wasnt what I saw, it was what I felt," he said in a cracked rush. "I felt it."
Grissom nodded, eyes locked with his own. "What did you feel?"
"Evil," Nick whispered. His eyes filled with tears. "The worst evil imaginable."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Five
Hey there Mister Madman, whatcha know that I don't know
Tell me some crazy stories, let me know
who runs this show
(Kansas)
"Your 8:30 appointment is here."
Ray reached out and tapped the intercom button. "Thanks, Shelley. Send him in."
"Him" turned out to be "them"; Grissom was accompanied by a man Ray had never seen before.
"Dr. Grissom," Ray said evenly, standing and coming around to shake Grissoms hand.
"Agent Carmody." Grissom didnt smile. "This is my colleague, Nick Stokes. Hes working the case with me."
Stokes shook his hand lightly and fast, as if hed touched something very hot. Frowning, Ray circled his desk again. "Have a seat, gentlemen. Want some coffee?"
"No, thank you." Grissom didnt look at Stokes as he sat down. "I realize you cant help in any official way, but Im very interested in see what you might know about our case."
Ray nodded cautiously. "I dont know anything about your case, aside from a few similarities to some Ive worked in the past," he qualified. "But Im willing to talk about those. Off the record."
"Of course. Youve seen something like this before?"
Ray nodded again. "You should know that none of what Im about to tell you has ever been given any official sanction." He sat back and laced his fingers together. Work day barely started, and he was already hearing that little whisper in the back of his head. The one that wouldnt be a whisper for long, but louder, until it was a yell he couldnt pretend he didnt hear. He thought about the bottle he didnt keep in the bottom left drawer anymore, and swallowed.
"If we are looking for a serial killer," he continued heavily, "hes slippery. My interest in this case, if you want to call it that, started back in 1989. I was new with the Bureau, working out of the Dallas field office. A nun was found murdered in November of that year, Sister Mary Peter McWhorter. Strangled, no sexual assault. It got quite a bit of publicity, and I had the chance to see the coroners report. The case was up to local law enforcement, but I followed it out of curiosity."
Stokes stirred, and Ray glanced at him. "Yes?"
"I remember that case. People said it was a cult. Satanists, maybe. But no one ever found out for sure."
Ray eyed him consideringly. "Right, yes. You sound like youre from Texas. Did you work that case?"
Stokes shook his head. "Still in college. But my parents did."
"Stokes. Thomas Stokes?"
"My father."
Ray sat back, raising his eyebrows. "I worked with Tom Stokes on a few cases. Tough as nails. Hes a justice now, isnt he?"
"Right. But it always bugged him that the Sister Mary Peter case was never solved. He never closed the file, always said there was something else there, something theyd missed."
"He was right," Ray said baldly. "But neither he nor I could ever prove it."
Stokes leaned forward, his square-jawed face a younger replica of his fathers. Ray was irked that he hadnt seen the resemblance until now, but hell, how many years had it been, anyway? And he hadnt seen Tom Stokes in a lot of those years. "Did she fit our pattern here in Vegas?"
"Not quite. There was no stone in her chest, for one thing. And there was something at that site, and subsequent ones, that you havent mentioned having found with yours. Some writing."
Grissom shifted. "Note? What did it say?"
"No one there could read it." Ray sat back and shrugged. "It took a while to find anyone who could. It was in Aramaic."
Both Grissom and Stokes flinched.
Ray raised his eyebrows. "Or maybe I was wrong about you not finding any notes," he said dryly.
Grissom shook his head. "No notes." He looked distinctly uncomfortable, shooting Stokes a quick glance. "Lets just say that doesnt come from as far out of left field as it might normally. Did they get a translation?"
"They did," Ray said slowly. "Roughly, For the nature of the body returns always and only to its own nature."
"I dont recognize it. Nick?"
Stokes shook his head, gazing at Ray with rapt focus. Ray nodded. "Its a quote from one of the Gnostic gospels. Not exactly on most peoples summer reading lists."
Grissom cleared his throat. "Gnostic, from the Greek gnosis, for knowledge. Traditionally Gnostics believed they had a special knowledge of all things divine. And a nun was murdered. You think the killer is Gnostic?"
"I have no idea. But the Church and gnosticism have traditionally been pretty divided. It hasnt made it any easier to find our killer."
"Who else has he killed?" Stokes asked, dark eyes intent as ever.
"Thats a very good question, and the answer is: I dont know. I know how many I suspect. Can I prove them beyond the shadow of a doubt? Not enough to please my superiors, or a court of law."
Grissom shifted in his chair, steepling his fingers in front of him. "So you believe our two local murders are connected?"
Ray sat back and shrugged. "The symbolism of replacing someones heart with a stone is pretty blunt. Id say theres a resemblance, but Im sure more than one person has resorted to ham-fisted symbols in order to get a point across. Heart like a stone, hard-hearted, etc. Father Martinezs murder clearly suggests a connection. But the second victim wasnt Catholic, as far as Ive seen."
"Nor I. Were all the previous victims Catholic? Just how many are we talking about, total?"
"That I know of, or at least suspect? Eight. Only one wasnt a practicing Catholic, but he was raised in the Church. Your victim, Fletcher -- he doesnt fit the paradigm."
"He was religious, though," Stokes said quietly.
Ray glanced at him. "How so?"
"Mormon."
Grissom was also looking at his partner, his expression a little puzzled. "When I spoke with Fletchers wife," he said, turning back to Ray, "she expressed his devotion to the LDS church. Different creed, similar faith. Still think hes not connected?"
"Doubtful. But I wont say its impossible. If he is connected with the previous cases, it suggests a significant deviation from the pattern."
"So if youve got all this evidence linking fourteen years worth of crimes," Stokes said abruptly, "why dont you have a task force assembled? The FBIs just letting these cases go unsolved? Why?"
Staring at him, Ray felt his throat tightening. With anger or something else, he wasnt sure he wanted to know. "Thats a good question," he said after a moment. "The answer is, these cases were investigated. This isnt closed."
He saw Stokes frown, and had a flash of Tom, flushed and angry over a beer. That same lantern jaw, and an identical bulldog look. When had that been? Four years ago? Five? After William Carnes. Baltimore, Jakes Roadhouse, and Ray had had about six shots of tequila past his limit. And that was a big limit. "Youre fucking it up, Ray," in Toms velvet Texas twang, softness covering tempered steel. "Arent you? Goddamn it, youre fucking it all up."
Aloud he continued, "Were still working on it." He produced a formal smile. "Dont worry. But until we have some piece of concrete evidence linking your two dead men with my eight victims, I cant offer any more than discussion."
"Do you have a suspect?" Grissom asked, regarding him stolidly.
"Not as such," Ray replied after a moment. "Theres the rub, as they say. Off the record?" He sighed. "Combine Mr. Clean with the Invisible Man, and thats who were looking for. He leaves no trace evidence at the scene. There is no connection between the methods of the victims deaths; whoever is doing this seems to choose a different method for each person, with no connection that I can determine. Two victims were shot, but ballistics turned up no matches in any of our databases, nor were any weapons found. The scenes have been scrupulously clean. Does that line up with your two victims?"
Grissom nodded. "So far, nothing. Aside from their gender and the ritualistic aspects of their deaths, our two victims seem to have nothing in common. No trace evidence specific enough to move us forward."
"What about the location?" Stokes asked suddenly. "Vegas. I mean, its Sin City. If our guy is making some kind of statement, what better place to do it?"
Ray nodded. "Good point, and it occurred to me as well. But it gets us no closer to our perpetrator."
"But if he stays local, that could change."
"Maybe. Thats all I have, gentlemen." Ray forced a professional smile and shrugged. "Aside from files and various bits of ephemera. Evidence of a sort."
Grissoms eyes were all too astute. "Youll share?"
"On the QT? Sure. But dont get me wrong." He felt his fragile smile falling and didnt much care. "Ive been chasing this ghost for a lot of years now," he continued, leaning forward and placing his hands flat on his desk. "You keep me informed, in the loop. Or I take my toys and go home. Understood?"
"Understood," said Grissom with a faint smile.
Ray glanced at Stokes. "Your father cared a lot about this case, and so do I," he said bluntly. "Theres more to it than Ive been able to find. I can already tell youre not being completely square with me. What did the Aramaic mean to you? Why wasnt that a surprise?"
Stokes didnt say anything, but his face lost color. Grissom shifted and to Rays eyes, looked almost diffident. Certainly an expression Ray hadnt expected to see. "Take my word for this," Grissom said in a soft voice. "When we understand, well tell you. Okay?"
Ray regarded him stolidly. "Not really," he replied after a moment. "But what the hell." He drew a deep breath. "Therell be more bodies. Hes been on a hiatus, I think. Something maybe happened, delayed him. Or something else changed, I dont know what. But hes back in business, and I think until someone stops him youll be busy. Ill bring my unit and everything at my disposal if you can give me one link to the files Im giving you. Dont make this territorial, Grissom. We gotta share the pool, or hell get away."
Unruffled, Grissom nodded. "Well be in touch, Agent Carmody." He lifted his chin. "Thank you for speaking with us."
Ray watched the files change hands, all that information so hard to obtain and looking so insignificant, reduced to a few folders and a couple of Paige boxes. He walked the two CSIs to the door, and caught another hooded, uncertain look from Stokes.
"Talk to your dad," Ray said impulsively, hand on the doorknob. "Ask him if what I say is true."
Stokes swallowed. "Ill do that."
Door closed, Ray walked slowly over to the window. Outside the day had turned gray, clouds moving in from the west, casting dull shadows over the sidewalks below. He shivered, and shoved his hands in his pockets.
Maybe hed take off early today. Go home, spend some time with Marcia. Let her talk, for once. Listen to her, as he hadnt been listening since what she said tended to be so familiar. Familiar because hed heard it before? Or because it matched what he felt?
Time to let go of all of this. Go do the right thing, go back and make up for lost time. Wasnt too late. Couldnt be. He couldnt afford it to be.
He swallowed convulsively and leaned his forehead against the glass.
Chapter Six
He shall lean upon his house, but it shall not stand: he shall hold it fast but it shall not endure. (Job 8:15)
"Thoughts?"
He glanced over at Nick, who had been silent since their departure from Carmodys office. Nicks mouth was pinched, and he kept his eyes forward. "Nick?"
"Huh?"
"I was asking what you thought of all that."
"Oh." Nick still didnt look at him, glancing instead at the heavy file folder he held. "Im thinking if hes right, we have a lot of work to do." His tone was light, but something about his tense body language shouted to Gil of unexpressed tension. "I remember my dad talking about this, a few times," Nick continued. "Sister Mary. Nearly drove him crazy that he couldnt prosecute her killer."
Gil directed his attention back to the road ahead. "Youre Catholic, right?"
"Yeah."
"Did you ever study any of the Gnostic gospels? Learn anything about Gnosticism in general?"
From the corner of his eye he saw Nick shake his head. "You?"
"Nothing substantial. This entire case if these cases are indeed all connected reeks of religious mysticism, something, Im not sure what. Dont you feel that?"
"Think it or feel it?" Nick replied in a sharp voice, and Gil looked at him. "You asking me as a CSI?" Nick continued, dark eyes somehow dangerous. "Or something else?"
"Im asking you as Nick, the person Im working the case with," Gil returned mildly.
Nick paused, and then sighed. "Sorry. Guess that was kinda uncalled for."
"Understandable, though. I didnt ask you to work the case with me solely because of whats been happening. Much as it might appear that I did."
"Know something weird?" Nick tapped the folder in his lap. "I thought maybe something would happen, up there. In Carmodys office, you know, talking about all this. Something like in the morgue the other day."
Gil nodded and signaled for his turn. "And?"
"Nada. Well. I mean, nothing that big."
Gil raised his eyebrows. "Thats not the same as nothing," he said slowly. "Are you saying you did feel something?"
"Maybe. Not sure what, though."
"You want to tell me about it?"
Nick was silent while they exited the highway, and only drew a breath once Gil had made his right turn. "Its Carmody," he said suddenly. "But its not. Its like something connected to him. I dont know how to explain it."
Gil nodded slowly. "When you know, tell me?"
"Absolutely."
They didnt speak again while Gil drove them back to the lab. It was late, they were both hours into overtime, and as he watched Nick trudge over to his own truck and climb in, Gil felt a sharp tug of sympathy, unexpected and plangent. Nick walked like a man waiting for a blow to fall, someone in the midst of a beating who knew there would be more, and who dreaded it even as he expected it as surely as night followed day.
Nick had just climbed into his vehicle as Gil approached. His expression lightened a little. "You okay?"
Gil smiled. "I was about to ask you that."
Nick sagged a little, hand draped over the steering wheel. "Im all right. I mean. You know."
"Buy you an early lunch?"
"Yeah? I sure. Yeah, hop in."
They ended up at Pacos, of course; it was still early enough to hint about breakfast, and this was the greasiest of greasy spoons, but the food was horrifically great and Gil didnt mind. He ordered something disgusting and waited to hear Nicks equally cholesterol-laden request, but Nick surprised him with cereal and fruit. "Hey, I can be healthy," Nick retorted, catching Gils raised eyebrow. "On alternate Tuesdays."
"Todays Thursday."
"Then, too."
Gil sipped his coffee and regarded Nick, smile slipping away. "Have there been any more flashes?"
"No. Not except the thing with Carmody. And I dont know whats up with that."
"How do you feel?"
Nicks gaze was dark and guarded. "Tired," he said slowly. After a moment of swirling his glass of ice water he added, "And a little scared."
"Of the case, or whats happening to you?"
"What is happening to me?" Nick shot back. "Do you know? Because I sure as hell dont."
"You want to know what I really think?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I do."
Gil nodded carefully. "I think you are more insightful than you appear to be. And I think intuition can look very much like something mystical, under the right light."
"So Im not psychic?"
"Whats psychic? How is it any different from a hunch that proves to be correct? The label doesnt change the intrinsic facts. A hunch can seem fully as insupportable as a psychic flash, if you want. But intuition is based on knowledge, in the long run. Maybe even knowledge you dont know you have. Observation, thought, experience."
Nick gave a tight nod. "So thats how I knew Fletcher had a rock where his heart ought to be? A hunch?"
Gil sat back and shrugged. "I dont know. You said yourself your father was obsessed with Sister Mary Peters murder. Its likely that youve drawn on old knowledge, dredged up "
"She didnt have a stone inside her."
"No."
"Lucky guess?" Nick snorted. "I just dont buy it. I didnt guess. I knew."
"How did you know? Did you realize it, think about it?"
"No. It was like something falling out of the sky. One moment it wasnt there, the next it was. I didnt know and then I touched him and I did. Thats it."
After a moment Gil sighed. "Be that as it may, Nick," he said gently. "Humans arent truly psychic, as popular media would define it. Morris Pearson was a very sensitive person, that much I will say. But being empathetic is not being psychic."
Nicks jaw was set in a stubborn line. "So what would it take to make you think there WAS such a thing? What would convince you?"
"What difference does that make? My belief or disbelief in psychic phenomena doesnt change what youre experiencing, does it?"
"No. I dont guess so." Nick sipped his water. "So whys this happening now? Why didnt it happen a year ago, or five years ago?"
"Maybe it was happening, and you didnt recognize it as such."
"No. No, it wasnt. Id have known." Nick shivered visibly, his cheeks going a little pale. "Take my word for it."
Gil nodded. "Then maybe its better not to ask at all. Just go forward. What else can you do, realistically?"
Nicks smile was ghostly. "Not much."
They ate in silence, and Gil thought some of the savor was gone from Pacos cooking. That, or Nicks palpable discomfort sapped Gils appetite. They finished fast, and Gil paid and followed Nick outside.
Back at the lab, Nick put his truck in neutral and kept his eyes forward. "Tell me this," he said tonelessly. "What if youre wrong? What if it really is psychic?"
"It isnt, Nick. Trust me. Dont let your imagination run away with you."
What Nick said next chilled him. "I never imagined anything like this. Never." Nicks eyes were dark with misery. "But someone else did. Does. How can I imagine someone else?"
Gil put a hand on Nicks shoulder and felt him tense and then slump a little. "I dont know," Gil said gently. "But I think the absence of an explanation doesnt mean one isnt there. It only means we dont have it yet."
"I hope youre right," Nick whispered. "God, I hope you are."
"Get some rest, Nicky. Its been a long night."
"Yeah. See you later."
He watched Nick drive away, and hated the tiny stubborn voice that repeated Nicks question inside his head. What if he was wrong? It wasnt impossible. Improbable, maybe, or so he believed, but not outside the realm of possibility. What if Nick, against all odds, all requirements of the scientific method, had somehow gained an ability that went beyond the norm?
He was sweating, and the air felt cold and dry against his skin. Gil swallowed and dug in his pocket for his keys, pushing the vague unease away.
Chapter Seven
A mans past is not simply a dead history It is a still quivering part of himself, bringing shudders and bitter flavours and the tinglings of a merited shame. (George Eliot)
When he awoke it was pitch dark inside his apartment, only the faint green gleam of his alarm clock breaking the blackness. 9:14.
Nick sat bolt upright in bed, and immediately put a hand to his forehead, gritting his teeth at the surge of pain. Slept too long, maybe, or no maybes about it, he was two hours late to work, and his head was killing him. Remnants of dreams clung like vapor hugging the ground: a mans face, his fathers, crooked teeth showing in an awkward grin, his hands covered with soot. Awake he strained to remember what his father was trying to say, and felt it slithering away, vague as mist.
His hand shook when he picked up the phone. Grissom answered after the first ring, sounding tense.
"I overslept."
"I noticed."
Nick swallowed as his headache expanded and contracted again. "I had the weirdest dream," he blurted without thinking. "I want to remember it. I need to."
"Nick, I dont have time right now. Are you coming to work? Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah. I just musta been tired, thats all. Ill be there in a minute."
"Call me when you get in."
"Will do."
He trudged to the shower, and in the middle of relishing the feel of blazing hot water and soap on his skin he wondered about the smell. Perfumey. Not the soap, and he wasnt anywhere near putting on any cologne, even if Grissom didnt frown so prodigiously on the practice. No, this was feminine, a little heavy, he wanted to call it old-fashioned.
By the time he rinsed off the smell was gone, but it nagged at him. Visions and kooky dreams were one thing, but ghost smells?
Youth Dew? Something he associated with older women, maybe his mom wore it.
Damn.
It was nearly 10:30 by the time he made it to the lab, and he remembered why he hated coming in late. Everyone running around with things to do, and he was sort of waving in the background, going, Here I am, got anything? He checked Grissoms office, but no joy, so he wandered over to the break room and got a coffee before he called Grissoms cell phone.
"Just stick around there," Grissom told him, yelling over the noise in the background. "I want you to memorize Carmodys files, okay? Know them inside and out."
"You have anything new?"
"What?"
"You got anything new?" Nick bellowed at the phone, startling Greg, who peered into the room. Nick grimaced at him.
"No, nothing new, just wrapping up on this accident scene! Ill see you at the lab!"
Nick thumbed the phone off and shook his head. "Man, Im glad Im not wherever he is."
"Were running a tad late tonight, arent we?" Greg quipped, heading to the soda machine.
"Yes, Mom, thanks for noticing. Working on anything interesting?"
"Working, but nothing interesting." Greg took out a soda and uncapped it. "You missed the excitement, man, 13-car pileup on the interstate. I think Grissom sent the whole crew out there."
So that explained the noise. Nick thought about the probable carnage and felt tired. "Hes on his way back."
"Goodie."
Nick sniffed. "You smell that?"
"Smell what? I mean, aside from the general eau-de-crap that tends to hang around this place?"
"Perfume. Smell it?"
Greg regarded him gravely. "So thats why youre late, then. You dog." He cracked a grin.
"No, man, I just keep smelling this perfume. Old-lady perfume, something. Really sweet."
Greg tapped him on the forehead on his way out the door. "Brain tumor. Olfactory hallucinations one of the first signs, my friend. Got your will made out?"
"Ha ha."
But the smell didnt go away. Not strong enough to really annoy him, just to keep him constantly aware, while he settled at his desk with Carmodys files, started flipping pages. Christ, the guy really was obsessed with these cases. If these were all the work of the same person, this was gonna be big when they finally broke it. Huge.
Chanel #5? His mother had worn that, he knew; hed seen the bottle.
With a jolt of pure terror he slapped the file shut and fumbled for the phone.
His father answered, half-awake and mumbling. "Lo."
"Dad?"
"What? Nicky? Is that you?"
"Aw, man, Im sorry Im calling so late."
"Its all right." His father sounded more awake already. "Is something wrong?"
Nick swallowed and tasted metallic fear. "No, I was gonna ask you that. Everything okay?"
"Here? Fine, everythings fine."
"And Mom? Shes okay?"
"Shes asleep, but I can --"
"No." Nick had to swallow again. "No, dont, I just -- I dont know what I was thinking."
"Nicky, whats wrong? You sound funny."
Nick sat back, pulling his knees up to his chest and balancing his heels on the seat of his chair. "You remember Sister Mary Peter?" he asked softly.
His father didnt say anything for a second. When he did, his voice was toneless. "Why do you ask?"
"I think Im working on something that might be related. Im not sure yet."
He could hear his dad walking, the click of his house shoes on the tile hallway. "That was a long time ago. But of course I remember. We never found her killer, and its always stayed with me."
"This case -- I had this meeting today with somebody you used to know. FBI. Ray Carmody?"
"My God. Hes out in Nevada now?"
"Yeah. Hes the ASAC in Vegas. He gave me his files, Sister Mary Peter, some others. They may be connected to a couple of murders weve had locally."
His father sighed. "Rays a good man, but -- Be careful. Okay? I was caught up in Sister Marys case, but Ray -- Ray was obsessed. Still is."
"What was your theory? His theory?"
After a moment his father said, "Ray believed it was the work of a serial killer."
Nick nodded. "And you didnt?"
"I didnt believe or disbelieve. There was no evidence in either direction. Just a lot of tangents, suppositions. No hard proof."
"Was I a weird kid?"
A startled laugh. "What?"
Nick closed his eyes. "I mean, was I different? Weird? Could I do things?"
"Nick, what the hell are you talking about? Things? What things?"
"I -- Nothing. No, I just, I dont know what I was thinking. Forget it."
"Why would you think you were a weird kid?"
"I never did anything you you couldnt explain?"
His father laughed again, sounding bewildered. "Every one of you kids did unexplainable things every DAY, Nick, youll have to be more specific. I mean, you were so dreamy you had accidents all the time. Was that what you mean?"
Nick frowned. "Dreamy?"
"Well, it was Liz who noticed, more than I did. Just the usual kid thing, though, nothing weird. Your imaginary friends. Even I remember Buster."
It hit him like a missile, hearing the word. Because he DIDNT remember, not until he heard his father say the name, BUSTER, oh Jesus God, Buster.
"Nick? Nick, what is it? Youre spooking me."
Buster. Oh God, Buster. "Nothing," Nick breathed, staring at the far wall. "You just surprised me. Look, its late and I woke you up. Ill let you go, okay? Say hi to Mom for me when you can."
"I dont know what exactly is going on up there, but you be careful, kiddo? Do you hear me? Call us tomorrow. Dont forget."
"Ill call," Nick said through numb lips. "Night, Dad. Thanks."
"Night, son."
The perfume was back, but for the moment it didnt matter, didnt make him curious. All he saw was the outline against the wall, that sturdy shape. No one else saw him, but Nick did, Nick always had, and no amount of teasing and crap from his sisters changed it. Not until later, not until
the bad thing
much later. And then it was as if Buster had never existed, even though he hadnt, not really, right? Imaginary, the tool of a lonely kid with too many sisters and hardly any friends. And hed forgotten him, completely, erased him along with so much other stuff, and he felt the weight of all of it like oceanic force, pushing him down onto his chair, harder and harder, until he could barely breathe, suffocating in a room full of oxygen.
I put aside childish things, he thought, while the room darkened and the corners grew monsters, things with claws and fangs and sweet high melodious voices. I set them aside and I did it so well I forgot them, I unmade them, and part of me along with them. What part? What did I put away along with Buster and Teddy and Isabel?
"Nick?"
He was out of the chair before he realized he was moving, flinging himself to the back of the room, crouching and screaming for Buster inside his head, Buster, help me, its going to get me this time, itll GET ME and there wont be anything left.
"Nick. Whats wrong?"
He blinked at Grissoms puzzled, more than slightly alarmed face, and drew a deep breath and made himself stand up straight. "You scared me," Nick whispered. The high sound of his own voice shocked him.
"Unintentional." Grissom took a careful step toward him. "What happened?" he asked softly. "You look like youve seen a ghost."
I have, Nick thought, and forced a shrug. "Got the willies reading through those files, I guess." He swallowed dryly. "Theres a lot of stuff there."
Grissom nodded, looking unconvinced. "Question is, is any of it related?"
"Not sure yet."
"You ready to talk shop, or you want to take a breather first? Youre white as a sheet."
"Im good. No, lets talk."
Catherine chose that moment to look in, and Nick was thankful hed at least had his head turned the right direction this time. Grissom had already seen him spooked; wouldnt do to reinforce this whole fucking fragile-Nicky thing hed already started.
"The pickup driver." Catherine waved a printout at Grissom. "You said ASAP, you got ASAP."
Grissom nodded at her. "BAL?"
"Stratospheric."
"Figures. Okay, give me a few and Ill have a look."
"Gotcha." She switched gears, glancing at Nick. "You okay? You look like hell."
He forced a smile. "Got up on the wrong side of the bed. Hey, what kind of perfume do you wear?"
She blinked at him. "Here? At work? None, unless Grissom isnt working and I can get away with it." Her mouth tilted in a slanted smile. "Why?"
"Ever wear Chanel #5?"
"Nope. Not my style, baby."
"Damn it. Whats this perfume?"
"What perfume?"
He waved tiredly. "I just keep thinking I recognize this smell. Youth Dew, Chanel whats some other old perfumes?"
"Nina Ricci?" Catherine shrugged. "Joy? Thats an old one. Shalimar?"
"Shalimar," Nick whispered. "I think thats it. Shalimar. Who wears Shalimar?"
"Other than old broads? No one I can think of."
"No one here? Sara?"
"Nick, does Sara seem like the perfume type to you?"
He had to smile. "No, but "
"I gotta run, okay? You can quiz me on perfume trivia some other time."
He stared after her, thinking. Shalimar. Did he even know what Shalimar smelled like? But that was it. Somehow.
"Nick?"
He turned, shaking his head. "Sorry. Yeah. Im here."
"Shalimar?"
"Just this thing. Never mind."
"So tell me what youve got so far."
Nick reached out to open the top file, and nodded.
Chapter Eight
His children are far from safety; they shall be crushed at the gate without a rescuer. (Job 5:4)
"Missing persons."
Gil made a face at the traffic and hit the brakes, tucking the phone beneath his chin. "If you hadnt noticed, Im already working on one case here. More than once, actually. Why "
Brass sounded a little rattled. "Look, youre already north of town, and Im almost there myself. Two kids, missing since this morning. Youre in the neighborhood, I figured you could stop by."
Gil looked over at Catherine, who looked a question back at him. "Call Warrick, send him out here."
"Warrick is off tonight, and you arent. I already called Nick, said hed head out here as well. Maybe he can work a little magic, make this short and sweet, huh?"
"Nicks not a magician, Jim; dont treat him like one."
"Im just saying. Any port in a storm. I figure, were practically in the country, no estranged spouses hanging around, those kids are just lost and well pick em up in no time. All right?"
Gil felt his jaw tensing. "Its never that simple, and you know it. How old are they?"
"Young, not sure. Not runaways."
"Damn it. Give me the address again."
He hung up after Brass finished, shaking his head.
"What?"
He didnt look at her. "Brass wants us to check in on a missing persons, not far from here."
"So?" Catherine had an audible smile in her voice. "No sweat, right? Were here, arent we?"
"And we need to be back at the lab. Processing. Or have you forgotten what we just spent three hours outside our shift doing?"
"So well check out early tonight. Not first shifts fault half of them are out sick."
Privately Gil thought she was wrong about that, but he let it pass. "Nicks on his way out here, too."
"Thought he wasnt coming in until seven."
"Brass paged him."
"Ah."
The area was one of Gils least favorites. Not just rural, but desolate, shabby. A cluster of old small houses, that if memory served had tried a couple of decades ago to incorporate as its own township. But with only an electrical power plant serving as local industry, not even a grocery store otherwise, the attempt had predictably failed. Now the houses he made out on the rapidly approaching horizon looked worse than he remembered, some possibly abandoned, and there were no cars in the plant lot. The advent of nuclear power had made the plant obsolete years ago, and the one industry had died overnight.
There were cars, though. Clustered in a field of scrub about two hundreds yards off the road, facing the empty plant. Gil frowned. "Are they reopening?"
"What, the station? Hell if I know, but I doubt it. Wait, this was on the news this morning. Think theyre tearing it down. New highway going through next year, plants being demolished." Catherine lifted her chin. "Ill bet the houses go next. Doesnt look like itll be that much of a loss, if you ask me."
"We have two missing kids. Both parents accounted for." Gil turned down the dusty road and glared again at the cluster of SUVs and pickups. "Is that Nicks truck?"
"Where?"
"Off to the side."
Catherine took off her sunglasses. "Could be. Said hed be out here."
"The house were going to is a mile up the road."
"Maybe he heard something?"
Gil sighed. "Hang on."
He pulled up next to Nicks truck, watching dust curl around it as he climbed out. No one was inside.
"So lets ask them," Catherine said, walking up beside him. Shading her eyes with her hand, she nodded at the group nearby.
In his time in Vegas Gil had seen a lot of buildings come down. Explosives were cheaper and faster than physically tearing down a building, and perfectly safe as long as the crew knew what they were doing. Press had a field day with it, and people were always entranced; watching a tall structure implode, crumple in on itself, was admittedly a little fascinating, and there were always spectators. This time was no exception, even though they were hardly in the middle of town. Evidently word had gotten around, and he saw a couple dozen spectators, noticeable for their lack of hard-hats, and one lonely television crew. Hell, maybe it was a slow news day. Must be, if they were at the end of the world filming a dead building making its final exit.
He brushed past the lookie-loos and headed for the hard-hats. "Excuse me," Gil said, approaching a heavyset man in work clothes. "Gil Grissom, Las Vegas Crime Lab," he added, extending his hand.
"Crime?" The man, named Atchison if the embroidery on his pocket wasnt misleading, shook Gils hand and frowned. "Uh, we got all the permits and stuff. This things been on the calendar for months."
"Gil? What in the hell are you doing out here?"
Gil turned, and snorted when he saw a familiar face. "Hey, Ken." He shook hands again. "You in charge here?"
"What there is of it." Ken Baker hadnt lost the sunbrowned wizened look, and Gil was pretty sure that was permanent these days. Not like when theyd first met, years back, in the course of an investigation. Missing person then, too. Funny how that worked. "You doing all right?"
"Fine, thanks. Whens the demolition?"
"About ten minutes, if all goes according to plan." Bakers firm voice suggested it had better, or else. He smiled. "Havent had the pleasure," he added, looking at Catherine.
"Catherine Willows, Ken Baker." Gil watched them shake hands. "Ken runs "
"The Baker Company," Catherine interrupted dryly. "Yeah, I kinda figured. Good to meet you."
Bakers frown came back. "Listen, I got a lot of stuff to see to, so I gotta cut this short. Unless you guys had something official come up?"
"Nothing major, just looking for one of my team. I think hes around here. Nick Stokes?"
Baker shook his head. "No one unaccounted for, and the name doesnt ring a bell."
"About five-ten, dark hair? Texas accent?"
"You just described half my crew."
Catherine grinned. "Cute as hell."
Baker laughed out loud and shook his head again. "Okay, that leaves out my crew," he quipped. "But cant say Ive seen anybody, like I said. This areas contained; sightseers over yonder, crew right here. Other than the goddamn press acting like this is big shit, thats it."
Gil glanced around. "Well, I saw his truck parked by the road. Were up here looking into something, and I think hes here. Any chance you could have missed him?"
"Nope. We get folks trying to sneak in sometimes, you know that, so I learned a long time ago to be careful. No blowing up civilians if you can possibly help it."
"Mind if we take a look?"
Baker frowned, but shrugged. "Long as youre clear of the blast site in five minutes. Were on a timer; I cant just unplug something if you need me to."
"Understood."
But looking around didnt turn up Nick. He didnt answer his cell phone. And gazing out at the expanse of metal that was the aging power station, Gil felt a cold frisson of dread prickle his spine.
"Dont see him." Catherine sighed, walking over to stand next to him. "Maybe he had car trouble, walked to the house?"
"Maybe."
"Call him?"
"Already tried, no answer."
"You dont think hes in there, do you?"
Gil swallowed. "I hope hes not."
"Jesus, Gil, its gonna be a pile of rubble in five minutes. If hes in there he doesnt have a chance. Why the hell would he do that?"
Gil was already walking. "I have no idea."
Baker looked a lot more annoyed this time he saw Gil. "I dont "
"Im sorry, Ken," Gil interrupted tightly. "But I have to ask you to give me a little time here. I think my man might be inside that facility."
Baker goggled at him. "Why in the fuck would he be there? He have a death wish or something?"
"I cant answer that, but I cant let you proceed without being sure the areas clear. Surely you can understand that."
"Shit." Baker reached up and took off his hard hat, wiping his forehead. "Okay, well, above and beyond the fact that you dont have the authority to halt my operation here, fact remains that even if I wanted to, I couldnt. This things coming down, Gil, aint nothing I can do to stop it."
The cameraman chose that moment to bob into view, keeping his lens trained on them, and Gil fought down the urge to send him packing. No time. "There has to be something you can do," he grated, feeling another surge of icy dismay. "You have safeguards, I know you do. Turn it off. You can start again "
"Oh, just turn it off? Like flipping a switch, right?" Baker snorted. "You know how complicated this kind of job is? I know you do, and I know you know it aint anywhere near that easy. Look, I dont want to hurt your guy, but unless you can prove to me hes in there, theres nothing I can do. Stopping now would cost me a hell of a lot of money, Gil, and the state frowns on that kind of thing. I gotta meet my bid, or this thing is fucked all to shit."
"Whats going on?"
Gil flinched and turned, watching Jim Brass pick his way through the clods of dirt. "I think Nicks in there," Gil said baldly.
"Nick?" Brass blinked at him. "Isnt this thing about to blow?"
"Yeah, and Nickll blow with it unless we can persuade them to put a hold on it."
"Nicks supposed to be at the house." Brass sounded aggrieved, not as scared as Gil felt. "He wouldnt be here."
"His trucks here. And I dont see him. Jim, you gotta help me out here."
Brass glanced at Baker and seemed to remember his official capacity. "Jim Brass, Vegas PD." He didnt bother with a handshake. "You in charge?"
"Thats right, and like I told Gil here, the trains already out of the station. Even if you could prove to me your man was inside, there isnt enough time to stop. I can shut down the main leads, but the rest has to be done manually. That means going over there and doing it by hand, and that would mean sending my men out to be blown up for certain. No fucking way."
"So youll let an innocent civilian die because of your bottom line?" Brass shot back. "Im sure that would make good press." He glanced meaningfully at the cameraman.
Baker looked alarmed. "Are you sure hes in there? I mean, are you positive? Jesus, what a goddamn screwup. He couldnt have gotten past us, Im telling you. There is no way he could have gotten in there without us seeing him. Just isnt possible. He cant be in there."
By this point the cameraman had company, an avid-looking woman Gil vaguely recognized from local news, as well as more than a few of the spectators. And Bakers crew, standing silent and worried-looking behind Baker.
"Im telling you," Brass said stolidly. "Shut it down. Its gonna be pretty damn hard to run your company from a prison cell, and dont think I wont arrest your ass for manslaughter if you go forward. Thats minimum."
Baker now looked desperate, hat clamped in his beefy hands. "And Im saying, even if I hit the failsafe it wont shut everything off!" he cried. "Part of it has to be done manually! Christ, I dont want to kill anyone."
Gil drew a fast breath. "Im going down there," he bit off, and took a step, before Brasss hand clenched tight on his left arm, Catherines on his right.
"And get yourself blown up with Nick?" Brass spat. "Fuck that." His icy gaze swerved back to Baker. "Shut it down. Now."
And Gil thought later that Baker would have done it, caught between a rock and a miserably hard Brass-plated place. But it didnt really matter, because that was the moment they heard the scream.
They all froze. Kind of amusing, in a horrible sort of way. Everyones head swiveling to look east, gazing at the metal hulk of the station. The high-pitched sound faded, and the silence was oppressive.
"That sounded like a kid," Catherine whispered at his side.
"Cant be," Baker came back, sounding old and breathless.
"Jim?" Gil stared at the station. "Those kids live near here."
"Jesus. Yeah, they do."
"Shut it down!" Baker bellowed, dropping his hard hat and taking off in the direction of one of the vans. "Shut it all down! Now!"
"Oh Jesus," Catherine said weakly. "Gil."
Gil felt the fear draining away, replaced by cold welcome clarity. "What are the kids names, Jim?"
"Shit. Let me look." He heard Brass scrabbling with paper. "Two kids, boy and girl. Boy aged 12, named Demetrius."
"And the girl?" Staring, staring. "Whats the girls name?"
"Shalimar. Why? Christ, are they in there? Tell me theyre not in there."
"Shalimar," Gil breathed.
"Gil," Catherine moaned at his side. "Nick was asking about Shalimar the other "
"I know. Theyre in there. Nick "
Someone screamed, and Brass blurted a fervent curse, and over the sudden babble of excited voices, Gil saw.
Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God. (Luke 18:16)
When he watched the tape later, he realized the camera had gotten a much clearer shot than he had. But then the camera wasnt afraid, and hed been terrified.
What the tape showed was first a gaggle of people, onlookers, crew, all with mirror expressions of surprise and horror on their faces. Then panning around, fast and blurry, to gain a jittery focus on the plant hundreds of yards away. That far, it wasnt clear that it was Nick. Only a guy in dark clothing, something in his arms, and something at his side.
The somethings were Shalimar and Demetrius Dickson, and Nick was running like he had the hounds of hell nipping at his heels.
"Jesus God almighty, theyll never make it," Brass said in a warbly voice.
The tape didnt catch that, but Gils reply came out loud and clear, even if it was only his disembodied voice. "Shut that down NOW, goddamn it!" Complete with a bleep, in the edited version.
And more voices from off-camera, while Nick and his charges ran in scary silence. Pelting across the grated fourth floor, flying past the elevator.
"Good boy," Gil whispered, unaware until later that he had tears running down his cheeks. "Dont trust it. Stairs, go for the stairs, run, damn it. Run."
Then the real kicker, the one that made this particular news clip the top of the news cast, and then the national news the next night: a new shrieking voice, heralding the arrival of Mom.
Ignoring it, Gil sprinted to find Baker, who was in turn shouting at everyone in earshot. The controlled chaos of demolishing a building had become real chaos, and Bakers face was a mask of absolute shock.
"Got everything I can get," he panted, wiping sweat from his upper lip, gazing at the tiny figures now approaching the barely visible outside stairway. "But somes gonna blow anyway, Gil, isnt anything I can do to stop it. Wont be enough to bring the building down, not even close, but I cant swear theyll be okay. I just cant. Oh Jesus, run faster, you bastard, whyd those fucking kids have to choose today to go exploring?"
"And how did you miss them?" Gil shot back, and Baker met his fiery gaze with such horror that Gil took a step back.
"Larry, Jimmy, come on," he bellowed, jamming a hard hat on his head. "Fuck this."
But even their dead run across the dirt wasnt nearly fast enough, anyone could see it. The camera saw it, impassive and all-recording, and that was all: those futile men trying to rescue people hopelessly out of reach, and Nick with Shalimar and now Demetrius in his arms, too, hurtling down the stairs and bouncing off one railing so hard even from this distance you could see him stagger. And going right on, third floor, second, and putting his foot on the stairway to the first when Gil heard the crewman next to him whispering, "Five, four, three."
On television it played as if it were part of some rather amateur action movie. Poor film quality for the movies, but everything else like choreography. Not the blind luck it was, as Nick hit the ground floor at a dead run, arms full of children clinging like barnacles to his neck, foot casting up a tiny puff of dirt at the same moment that the first explosion suddenly crumped through the air. Like distant thunder, the most demure waft of dust at the rear of the facility, furthest away from Nick. The tapes images showed his figure highlighted from behind, outlined in pale beige and the second charges going off, nearer, so near.
Beyond the plants concrete ground floor was a lip of dirt foundation, and then a drop-off, about two feet down. Gil never remembered to ask Nick later if hed scoped out that ledge beforehand. Just as well. The answer would almost surely have been no, and that was too much proof of the enormous amount of sheer luck involved in the whole proceeding.
But it was the ledge that Nick headed toward, tape clear enough now that his expression could be seen: no fear at all, nothing but fierce and complete focus, aiming at that drop-off. Jumping and landing awkwardly, and then going down, pushing the two children to the ground and immediately lying over them. It was that pair of seconds of tape that was edited and bit-captured and made into the picture that ran in the papers the next day. Nick, only his back showing, and his arms, cradled around those two invisible children, and the plume of dust as the nearest detonations began.
Then it was all haze, and a somehow terrible silence. Even the childrens mother, frozen as she waited with everyone else to see if anything emerged from that pall of dust. Baker and his two men, stumbling to a halt a few hundred feet away, bright orange hard hats obscured in the murky air.
And then someone shouted, and the dust cleared enough that the camera and Gil and the mother and everyone else could see Nick standing up, reaching for the two kids, and walking away.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick didnt watch the news that night. Couldnt; he was stuck at the ER, getting checked out along with the two children hed rescued. Nothing major, but next to everything else that seemed like a very minor miracle; surviving at all was the biggie. Nick had a few cuts where flying debris had struck his back and shoulders, some bruises, probably from the pellmell flight down the stairs. Shalimar and Demetrius were untouched, with the exception of the injury Shalimar had already sustained before any of it happened, the injury that had gotten her stuck and delayed their exit until Nick had shown up.
Gil sat very still and watched, while the almost hysterically excited reporter shoved a microphone in Nicks dust-streaked face. "How did you know, Mr. Stokes? How did you know these kids were here?"
It probably wasnt evident to someone who didnt know him. That brief second of calculation, that little breath of time in which Nick considered how to answer that. And then smiling, and saying, "I was out here looking into their disappearance, thats all. I was just in the right place at the right time."
Next to Gil, Sara shifted. When he looked over her arms were crossed, and she shook her head. "Howd he do it? For real?"
Gil drew a long breath. "I dont know," he said slowly. "And thats the truth."
"A vision? A dream? Howd he get inside without anyone seeing him?"
"I dont know."
"Does he know? Does he?"
"Youll have to ask him that."
Work went on the same, as night became early morning. But nothing was the same. Gil shrugged out of his lab coat around 2:00am, and sat down at his desk with a sigh.
"Hey."
Gil jerked around, staring at Nicks very clean face. "I was going to come pick you up," Gil said in a rush.
Nick smiled a little and took a seat opposite him. "I got a lift. Man, the place was crawling. I felt like I was inside a microscope."
"They want to understand how you did it. How you could have rescued those kids."
"Im not saying."
Gil nodded after a moment. "I think I can understand why."
"But you know how," Nick whispered. His smile was gone; he looked tired, and horribly wistful. "Dont you?"
Gil gazed at him, wordless. Didnt he? What more would it take to convince him? An affidavit from God? Because all the evidence was in, now, wasnt it?
"Yes," Gil said softly. "I guess I do."
Nicks dark eyes filled with tears. "You believe me."
"It would be pure stupidity not to, now. I believe you."
Nick nodded fast, reaching up to wipe his eyes with the backs of his fingers. "So what do I do now?" he asked in a thick voice, staring down at his lap.
"Go forward, Nick. What else can you do? Hide from it? How can you do that?"
"It wont let me."
Gil leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the desk. "The first time I met Morris Pearson, he said something about how it was his duty to act on his feelings. That it was part of a I dont know, moral code. It was a requirement. He didnt explain why he felt that was so."
Nick was nodding, eyes still averted. "Once you know, you cant not know. You cant just forget about it."
"Let me take you home. You dont need to be here tonight, okay? You need some sleep."
He saw the way people looked at Nick as they walked out of the lab. Looks of confusion, wonder. Fear. Mistrust. With newly acute eyes Gil saw it all, and felt his gut tightening with restless anxiety. So was this the way it would be? Must be? How did you act around someone you knew had an ability no one could understand, or share?
Thankfully Nick didnt seem to notice the askance looks. He just walked out, favoring his right side a little, the hip that had taken the worst of the beating on his way down the stairs. Gil opened the Tahoes door for him and waited for Nick to climb in.
Half an hour later in front of Nicks condo complex, Gil looked over at him and saw that he was asleep. Mouth open, face soft and somehow old in the reflected sodium gleam of the streetlights. Gil reached over and touched his shoulder gently, and Nicks eyes peeled blearily open.
"Oh man. Musta dozed off."
Gil smiled faintly. "Yeah. Youre home."
Nick looked around, sitting up and visibly trying to get it together. "Okay. Thanks for the lift."
"No problem. Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"You did an incredible thing today."
Nicks eyes were inky and unreadable in the dimness. "Did what I had to do."
"That doesnt change the facts."
"What if Id been too late? What if I hadnt been able to find them?" Nick turned away, leaning against the passenger door. "Every time I think about feeling good about it, I think about that. Because it wasnt me, Gil. It was a dream, a call from Brass. How do you arrange to be in the right place at that one right time? How can I be sure that next time will be the right one, too?"
"How can you be sure it wont be?"
"Maybe."
"Night, Nicky."
"Night."
Chapter Ten
"God doesn't move us by telling us the facts. He moves us by pains and contradictions. He's given me a lack of understanding: not answers, but questions. An invitation to marvel." (Alex Ventoux, "Luminary")
He stopped by Shelleys desk on the way out. "Take messages for me? Not sure Ill be back today." Well, he was sure he wouldnt be, but it never hurt to hedge a little.
Shelleys look told him she wasnt much fooled, but shed humor him anyway. "Yes, sir."
Ray winced. "You know what we talked about, right?"
"Im sorry, s" She wrinkled her nose. "Agent Carmody."
"You say sir, I start feeling like were in the military. And I dont want to be in the military."
Now she smiled, even if it was still a bit formal. "Understood."
The heat hit him like a fist holding a roll of nickels. Hadnt he just been thinking how he liked the climate here? This was like taking a stroll on the goddamn sun. He opened his car door and let it air for a minute before climbing in. Not even feeling the sweat; it was so hot the damn moisture evaporated off his skin before it had time to register.
Too early for rush hour, so he didnt have too much trouble on the highway. Back on residential terrain, he consulted his map a couple of times, but it really wasnt that hard to find. He parked on the street and thought about putting on his suit coat again before the outside heat convinced him protocol was for places where eggs didnt fry on sidewalks.
Stokes answered the door after Ray leaned on the bell the third time. He looked tired, and annoyed. "Agent Carmody?"
Ray smiled a formal little smile. "Mr. Stokes. Im sorry to bother you, but I had a couple of questions. Mind if I come in?"
Stokes frowned. "Suit yourself."
The interior of Stokess condo was cool and dim, and Ray felt immediately better, out of the white-hot skillet that was the Vegas outdoors. "Want some coffee?" Stokes asked. He was dressed in ancient jeans and a tee shirt, and unless Ray missed his guess, that was a bad case of bed-head, too.
Ray accepted a cup, and watched Stokes down his own in a few fast swallows. "I thought Id check in," Ray said when Stokes didnt add anything. "Our mutual interest."
Stokes glanced at him on the way to refill his cup. "Wanting a progress report? There isnt one. Been busy with other stuff."
"So I hear."
"It was just one of those things," Stokes said tonelessly. He regarded Ray over the rim of his coffee cup. "Is that what you really came to talk to me about? The thing yesterday?"
Ray shrugged and set his coffee on the table. "I came to talk to you about your two dead men. But Ill admit Im curious. How did you know?"
"What, the power plant? I just knew. Next question?"
The flat words seemed forced, and Ray studied Stokes carefully. Under the veneer of tiredness and flippancy, the man looked deeply uneasy, almost afraid. "Its made you a hero," he replied softly. "Isnt that worth discussion?"
"Whatever. Look, it was a long night and I gotta be at work pretty soon. I dont have time "
"Do you consider yourself to have psychic abilities?"
Stokes glared at him, but the expression had little power. The impression of fear was stronger now. "I dont have a crystal ball or a Ouija board, if thats what youre asking," he snapped.
"Mr. Stokes, Ive worked for the FBI for a long time, and Ive seen a lot of weird shit. Ive seen things I cant explain, and things I dont think anyone can explain. Maybe you dont like the psychic label, but the fact remains that you had an amazing thing happen yesterday. You saved the lives of two children, based on what? A hunch? A feeling? A vision?" Ray shook his head. "Unless you want to tell me you led those kids there in the first place. Is that what youre saying?"
"What?" The annoyed look had completely disappeared; Stokes looked shocked, and suddenly younger. "Led them there? What the hell are you talking about?"
"So if you didnt," Ray continued stolidly, "and I believe that you didnt have a hand in the setup, that was all random -- then you have to admit there is something uncanny about the whole thing. Right?"
Stokes walked over to the couch and sat down heavily. Ray followed, taking a seat in a wide chair. "Im not accusing you of anything," he said after a moment. "Please believe me. But I need to know what you can do."
"I had a dream," Stokes said in a hushed voice. "Thats all. And we got the call for the missing kids, and something just -- clicked."
"Has anything like this happened before?"
Stokess quick hooded look gave him his answer. "Not like this," the man added, shaking his head. "Not so dramatic. Just stuff."
"From what I understand, you nailed a man for arson recently, based entirely upon a feeling you had at the site. Is that the stuff youre talking about?"
"What do you want from me?" Stokes whispered. His face contorted with too many emotions for Ray to catalog. "You here to call my bluff? Say Im a faker, what?"
Ray smiled a little. "Im here to ask for your help."
Stokes sat back. "With what?"
"Off the record."
"Okay."
"I have a lot of ideas about our killer. But ideas arent facts, and I wont pretend otherwise." He shifted a little in his seat. "Grissom doesnt strike me as a man who appreciates the old-fashioned hunch."
After a moment Stokes nodded minutely. "Not a lot of forensics people do."
"Your father didnt, either," Ray added, softening the words with a shrug. "Or lets just say, he preferred to back up any hunch with facts within 24 hours. Your basic pragmatist."
Stokes mouth quirked in a tiny smile. "You could say that. Hes open-minded, but."
"Exactly. All I have here are hunches, Mr. Stokes."
"Call me Nick, okay? Feels like my dads in the next room."
"Done. Frankly, Nick, I dont think well crack this case working by the numbers. I think it will take hunches. Insight, intuition."
"Visions?"
"If you have any, I wouldnt be against hearing about them." He regarded Stokes carefully. "Have you?"
Stokes leaned back, suddenly looking even more tired than before. He rubbed one eye with his fingers. "Yeah. One."
A prickle of familiar interest flared down Rays spine. "Tell me?"
"I never saw the first vic. Martinez. But I saw the second during the autopsy. Some things happened."
"Aramaic things?"
Stokes dark eyes flashed. "That was part of it. Grissom says I spoke it."
Spoke it. Ray swallowed. "What did you say?"
"I dont know. I dont remember. I remember images. And this feeling, like the worst, deepest evil Ive ever experienced." Stokes looked away, jaw muscle twitching. "But none of that is any help," he added heavily. "Doesnt mean anything."
"Heres what I didnt want to discuss with Grissom." Ray waited until Stokes looked back at him. "I have a theory. I think whoever this is, was practicing before. I think Sister Mary Peter was an experiment. And I think right now, here in Las Vegas, hes done practicing. This is what hes been working toward, all this time."
"How do you know?"
Ray sighed. "I dont. Get it? Its all theory."
Stokes frowned. "Ive worked cases based on a lot less than what youve got now. But it sounds like the FBI never took any of what you learned seriously. Wasnt this worthy of at least a cursory investigation?"
Shoe on the other foot now; Ray felt his stomach clench, automatic ruffled distance. "Very likely." He forced down ready anger. Wasnt Stokes he was angry at, now, was it? "I tend to have the opposite of the Midas touch in some ways," he continued gruffly. "Lets just say my involvement was probably the kiss of death. As it were."
Stokes looked a lot like his father just then, regarding Ray with a clear, all-too-penetrating gaze. "Why?"
"Its personal," Ray replied in a thin voice.
"So you want us to do your work for you? Is that it?"
"I had more in mind a partnership of sorts. Unofficial."
Stokes sat back, looking tired and young. "So youre not gonna say why youre persona non grata with the FBI, but you expect me to spill everything weve got. And take advantage of whatever the hell it is Ive found out I can do, so you can what? Scratch a fifteen-year itch? What makes you think I can help? It just happens, Carmody; I dont control it."
"Maybe not yet." Ray swallowed and drew a deep breath. "I worked with someone, years ago. A case in Baltimore, involving a string of what we thought were related murders, prostitutes. This guy " He broke off, shaking his head.
"Dont tell me. Another goddamn local psychic."
"No. No, he worked for the FBI. At the time. And he said he wasnt psychic. He called it experience, knowledge."
Stokes nodded slowly. He had lost the tired look; his eyes were almost too interested. Frantically so, although Ray would have taken a large bet to say the man himself didnt realize it. "He could do this? What I do?"
"I dont know exactly what he did. But he took one look at the current crime scene and he knew everything. It all fell into place. Drove the ASAC absolutely bugshit, but the guy was right. About everything."
"So why dont you call him?" Stokes said harshly, lip curling. "Get his help."
Ray shrugged. "He left the Bureau a long time ago. Did some consulting, then came back and left again. I have no idea where he is these days. Hell, he could be dead by now."
Stokes gave him a dull glance. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I believe you can do amazing things. Things I dont understand, things probably nobody understands. I think you are the key to finding this killer."
Stokes stared at him, and then visibly flinched, eyes darting to the left. Ray automatically followed his gaze. There wasnt anything there. Just a plant, and a low-slung chair. He looked back at Stokes. The mans cheeks had gone startlingly pale, eyes dark and haunted.
"What do you see?" Ray whispered. His neck prickled with atavistic excitement. "What did you just see?"
Stokes shook his head without losing the gray, stunned look. "Nothing," he said hollowly.
"I dont believe you. You saw something. Something that scared you?"
"I need you to leave." Stokes stood abruptly, avoiding Rays eyes. "I cant talk about this right now."
Ray stood, but didnt move to the door. "Why? Maybe talking about it will help. How do you know if you dont try?"
"I am trying!" Stokes cried. High color blossomed in formerly bleached cheeks. "Im trying to make sense out of something that doesnt fucking MAKE sense, all right? I cant be whoever it was you knew back in the day, okay? I dont know who it is you want me to be, but Im not him, Im not anybody, I just do the best I fucking CAN!"
Ray nodded, feeling his heart triphammering in his chest. "Then tell me whats in that chair."
Stokes swallowed. "No one," he whispered. "Theres no one in that chair."
"But there was."
"Just my imagination. Thats all. You have to believe me. Thats all it was."
"I cant believe something I know you dont. And you know that wasnt just your imagination. Was it?"
"Just please go," Stokes moaned, eyes
closing. "Ill call you if something else happens. If I find out
anything, all right, just go. Leave me alone."
"I want to help, Nick. Believe that. Im not the enemy. The enemy is a psychopath wholl kill a lot more people if we dont find him soon. Believe that, too."
"Get out," Stokes said hoarsely, and turned away. "Get out, please. Just go."
Ray nodded at the mans rigid back. "Okay," he said softly. "Ill go. But I mean what I say. Im a friend, Nick, and Im more than that. Im a believer. How many of those do you have in your life right now? How many people look at what you can do and say its a gift to be treasured rather than something to be afraid of? How many people around you are scared of you right now?"
Stokes said nothing at all. Ray swallowed, and bit back the other things he wanted to say.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His cell phone rang when he was still a few blocks from home. Ray opened the phone and wedged it between his chin and his shoulder, glaring at the glinting mass of cars on the highway.
"Hey, Ray." He could hear the smile in McAdas voice. "Got a minute?"
"About five, until I get out of the car and start shooting. Whats up?"
"Talked to someone today, about the Martinez case. You know, the priest, got whacked last week."
Ray nodded and shifted gears, gunning into the right lane. "Tell me."
"Long shot, but if youre still into this case I thought you might want to hear about it. Turns out Martinez had seen this guy, day before he died. The other priest at the parish remembered seeing them, some kinda confessional thing, right? Didnt hear what the guy said to him, but he remembered Martinez looking a little freaked, so I did some asking around. Guys been seen around the church for a few weeks, not going to Mass or anything. Just hanging around. Talked to a few people. They remembered him because they said he was spooky."
"You get an ID?"
"John Baker. Unemployed, moved to Vegas recently from parts unknown. Sounds like an alias, but I got an address. Wanna meet me there?"
"Where?"
McAda read off an address, and Ray sighed. "On my way. Dont do anything until I get there, you got it?"
"This still on the QT, or official?"
"What do you think?"
McAda laughed. "Gotcha. Half an hour?"
"See you there."
It wasnt that far. And it was probably the latest in a long line of wild goose chases, which meant he could have a look and still be home before Marcia had time to work very hard on the youre-late-and-I-waited-supper speech. Ray dropped the phone on the passenger seat and swerved back left, passing a guy in a sleek BMW who mouthed something and gave him the finger.
He identified the house by McAdas blue Mustang, the cop leaning against the door with beefy arms crossed. Ray parked by the curb and got out, wincing at the furnace blast of desert wind. "Anybody home?"
McAda shook his head. "Nobody answers, and I aint got a warrant yet. I can fix that, if you give me a couple of hours."
"You think this is legit?"
"The lead? I think we aint got shit otherwise, is what I think." McAda made a face and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. "I made some calls while I was driving. Baker is definitely an alias. Guy didnt exist before he popped up here in Sin City. No checking account, no job, and his landlord says he pays the rent cash on the barrel."
Ray nodded tightly. "We need that warrant."
"In the works, man. I aint gonna fuck this up. Not if this is as big as youve said it might be."
"Its big. Its fucking huge."
"If you say so. Listen, Im gonna hang here for a while, see if he shows up. You wanna join me?"
"No can do, gotta head home."
"Shes got you whipped, man, Im tellin ya."
"No," Ray shot back. "But unlike you, I have responsibilities."
McAda raised his hands in a defensive gesture, completely belied by the grin on his face. "Hey, dont hate me because Im single, all right? Footloose and fancy free."
"Yeah, right. Call me when you get that warrant."
"You know it. Give Marcia my love."
Ray snorted and walked back to his car.
Traffic was even worse now, and his jaw ached from gritting his teeth by the time he turned onto his street. "Sorry, honey," he whispered as he pulled into the driveway. "Got held up at work, honey. Yeah, I still work, even if Im going nowhere fast. Im weird that way."
The house was silent when he walked in the front door. No television blaring local news, no clatter in the kitchen as Marcia stormed around making a big deal out of the late dinner. No girlish giggles from the direction of Elyses bedroom. Ray put his briefcase on the foyer table and called, "Im home."
No reply. No smells of cooking, no nothing. His jaw popped, and he took a look in the deserted kitchen before widening the search. Nobody, there wasnt anyone home, anyone could see that. Mouth dry, he jogged up the stairs, glanced in Elyses room. Neat, for once, no clutter of clothes and shoes and lots of frilly things that made him obscurely uncomfortable to see in association with his only daughter. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth by the time he got to the master bedroom. Neat, too, and there was an envelope on the pillow. Ray paused for a moment, staring at it. Then he sagged down on the edge of the bed and reached out to pick it up.
"Ray," he read in Marcias loopy, feminine cursive. "Weve gone to stay with Mom and Dad for a while. Im sorry I didnt wait to tell you face to face, but what difference does it really make? Weve been postponing the inevitable for far too long. Were all miserable. I dont want Elyse growing up this way, and I dont think you do, either. Ill call you in a few days. Please dont call until then, or come find us. There isnt any point."
His eyes were blurring, but he could still make out the last words. "I loved you since high school, Ray, and I guess Ill always love you. But I dont like you very much any more. Marcia."
Blinking at nothing, Ray crumpled the letter slowly in his fist. His ears sang with a weird, high-pitched drone, the sound of the blood making a frantic race through his veins, heart pumping for all it was worth. With a snarl he stood up and kicked the urn by the dresser, the one Marcia had bought for way too much money at a stand in Williamsburg. Surprised she hadnt taken the goddamn piece of crap with her, loved it so much. He regarded the shattered bits of crockery with zero interest. Broke the vase, broke my goddamn marriage. And that after I broke what was left of my career, way back when I was still a relatively golden boy, back when it still meant something. Meant as much as Marcia, maybe more.
Downstairs he paused at the door to the study. Make a choice, Ray, good buddy. Lady or the tiger. The case, finally lukewarm again after being so stone-cold for so long. Do something about that, when theres nothing you can do about Marcia, nothing you can do about the shattered pieces of your marriage.
Or take that tiger by the tail and dance, boy. Itll be the last waltz, so you better make it a good one.
He leaned against the door jamb and uncrumpled Marcias dear-John letter. Dear-Ray letter.
"I want to dance, Marcia," Ray whispered, squeezing out two hot, acid tears. "Im going to dance, dance with him. Dance on the blood-dimmed tide."
He shoved the letter in his pocket and reached for the doorknob.
"Do you know what it's like to scream in silence three hundred and sixty-five days of the year?"
(William Gary, "Covenant")
"His name is John Baker."
Nick stared at the file Grissom had plopped down on the desk in front of him. "You mean you found him?"
Grissom leaned back in his seat and shrugged. "We have a possible suspect. Nothing more. Complicated by the fact that no ones seen him since Father Martinezs murder. According to Detective McAda, the name is probably an alias." He sighed. "We have no forensic evidence tying either of these murders to any person," he said heavily. "What evidence we have exists in a vacuum. No DNA matches, nothing. The man were looking for doesnt seem to exist."
"Thats what Carmody said."
"You spoke with him?"
Nick fidgeted. "He came by this afternoon. No big."
Grissoms eyes narrowed. "What did he tell you?"
After a long pause Nick said, "He thinks Ill crack this case."
"He does."
"Because of what I can do," Nick added, and snorted. "The guys reaching, man. Hes been working this thing way too long, and hes grabbing for anything that might give him an edge. Thats all."
"McAdas at Bakers apartment right now. You ready to head over?"
Nick sat up. "Uh. Sure."
He had time to flip through the file on the way over. A part of him sat back, waiting for some kind of bombshell, some flash of weird crap to hit him out of nowhere, but nothing came. It was just paper, and it didnt say much. Baker was a non-entity: featureless, without history, without family, without anything that Nick could see from the too-brief reports.
"So he comes here, what? Two months ago, right?" Nick closed the file and glanced at Grissom behind the wheel. "Doesnt have a job, but the landlord says hes gone all the time. Doing what?"
"Stalking Father Martinez, for starters," Grissom replied. "Aside from that, I dont know."
The apartment was tacked onto the back of an elderly frame house in an even older part of town. Nick climbed out and turned to see Buster, sitting on the hood of a blue Mustang parked by the curb.
"Dont go in there, Nicky." His blue eyes were wide and scared. "Bad place. Bad, bad place."
Nick swallowed and turned away, following Grissom inside.
The air was stuffy inside the tiny apartment. Smelled like dust and something Nicks nose insisted was Elmers glue. He looked around, popping his gloves over his wrists, while Grissom got the skinny from Detective McAda.
"Guy lives like a monk, maybe he is one." McAda looked tired and cranky, sweat gleaming on his mostly bald pate. "Either way hes got us made. He aint comin back."
There wasnt much furniture, and what there was of it looked like furnished-for-rent crap: a sprung sofa, leaking stuffing; painfully austere kitchen table with two chairs. A desk that looked like salvage and probably was, with a rickety chair. Nick did a slow circuit of the room, and saw Buster perched on the table. His apple-red cheeks looked artificial. "Tick-tock, Nick-knock," he crooned in his high little-boy voice. "Someones coming around the block."
"Shut up," Nick whispered. "Youre not helping."
"What?" Grissom gave him a quizzical look.
"Nothing," Nick blurted.
He turned to look at the closed bedroom door, and felt his balls immediately try to crawl up inside his body. Wrongness, this place was a cauldron of not evil, precisely, but a kind of jagged off-centeredness that made his brain hurt, like a broken piece of glass inside his mind. That room, that was where the clues were. If he could stand to look inside.
A hand on his elbow made him flinch.
"Nicky?" Grissom regarded him with another shade of that same concerned, cautious color Nick was starting to expect. "What is it?"
Nick lifted his chin in the direction of the bedroom door. "In there. Thats what we came to find."
Grissom flicked a glance at McAda. "You checked out the bedroom yet?"
McAda looked, too, his craggy-handsome face cloudy. "Yeah." He kept staring. "I think."
"You mean you dont know?"
Nick watched a growing expression of vague confusion trying to materialize on the detectives features, out of place. Jarring. "Of course we did," McAda said gruffly, but his pale blue eyes were somehow haunted. "Didnt find nothing."
"You cant see it," Nick breathed. His hands were cold. "But its there."
Grissom gave him a ferocious frown. "Whats there?"
"You feel it too. Dont you?"
"Feel what?"
Nick glanced at Grissom. The frown was still there: affronted, mildly indignant. "That," Nick said simply. "You dont think we should go in."
"Its already been examined."
"But not by us. Thats our job, isnt it? To go over everything?"
A flicker of the same confused look McAda had worn now appeared on Grissoms face. Utterly out of place, and a little shocking. "Certainly. But we have bigger fish to fry. Lets go."
With a tingling feeling of disbelief Nick watched Grissom put away his gloves. "Dont you get it?" Nick asked, shaking his head. "We have to see whats in that room."
"Its a snipe hunt, Nick. Thats all." Grissom gave him a weird, scary smile and shrugged. "Come on."
"You should go, too," Buster said at Nicks other elbow. His hand was feather-light and cold as a dead persons, touching Nicks wrist. "You dont trust me any more, do you?" His expression grew doleful. "You grew up, and you forgot."
"Youre not real," Nick murmured, sotto voce.
"They dont think thats real, either." Buster pointed at the bedroom door. "But you know better. But whats inside, no one was meant to see. Itll fry their brains like touching a live wire."
"But not mine."
"Bad," Buster whispered, sidling close and tugging on Nicks jacket. "Its bad, Nicky, we gotta go."
Thats what it wants, Nick thought, and Buster sniffled.
"Just a minute," Nick said out loud. He took a step toward the door and felt Grissoms hand on his wrist, over Busters, hard and human and strong.
"Dont," Grissom snapped.
Nick smiled at him, and gently disengaged Grissoms hand. He saw without any sense of surprise that Grissoms fingers were shaking, badly. "Its okay," he lied. "You dont have to go. Ill do it."
Grissom swallowed and touched his forehead with one trembling hand. "Whats going on?" he asked in a weird, high voice. "I cant think."
"Go outside. All of you," Nick added, glancing at the paper-white faces of McAda and the two uniforms standing like statuary nearby. "Go outside and wait. I wont be long."
They went, like children careening out the school doors on the last day of class. McAda followed, more slowly but with the same look of utter relief on his face. Grissom stood firm, but his face was a mask of misery laid thin over pure fear. "Nicky," he said helplessly.
"Go. Ill be all right." He wasnt absolutely sure of that, but the urge to see them all to safety was far too strong to refuse. "Its not safe for you here," Nick said. He put a hand on Grissoms shoulder and pushed lightly. "Go on. Ill be out in a minute."
He watched while Grissom trudged out. It gave him a twitch of weird nausea to see the look on Grissoms face. Out of place, that lost look, that biddable look. Grissom was the one to give orders, not Nick, right? But he went, and Nick was suddenly alone in John Bakers house.
"Concentrate on what you need, and get out," a mans voice said.
Buster was gone. There wasnt anyone there. But he heard it as clearly as if whoever it was stood at his elbow. Deep, faintly raspy voice, a calm like cool water, even and true. "Theres far more here than you need," the voice continued. "And knowing even half of it could be very, very dangerous."
"Who are you?" Nick whispered.
"A friend. Trust me."
Nick tried to force some spit into his suddenly ash-dry mouth, and stepped forward. The door seemed to pulse in his vision, a throbbing malignity as blatant as a scream. The others hadnt seen that, not really, but theyd felt it. Oh yes. Not like he felt it, but enough to get the hell out of Dodge. He, on the other hand, was going inside it. His stomach lurched for real this time.
"What is it?" he whispered, hand an inch from the doorknob.
"Madness. Delusion. The fabled heart of darkness. It can only touch you if you let it. I advise you not to."
"They felt it."
"Of course they did. Youre a conduit; they feel it through you."
The words stung, and he let his hand drop to his side. A voice out of nowhere, saying this was madness, and suddenly he was sure none of it was real. Schizophrenia, right? Hearing voices when no one was there? He was off his fucking rocker.
"I didnt do it on purpose," he said softly.
"None of that matters. They wont remember it anyway."
"But I will."
"Open the door, Nick. Do what you have to do."
I dont want to, a part of him shrilled. Dont WANNA, and you cant make me. The Buster part, maybe, the part hed stowed away far too early, like an appliance that still works just fine but is suddenly outmoded, obsolete and no longer wanted. Speaking out now, when the last thing he needed was childish fear and stubbornness.
He touched the doorknob and felt a lancing chill go up his arm. The hinges creaked faintly, and the door swung open.
It was just an ordinary, dingy bedroom. Full-size bed, neatly made. A desk and chair, looking as if theyd come out of some 50s-era motel room. No clothes, no personal effects. No sign that anyone had been here in the recent past. It looked as if it had all been abandoned a long time ago.
But he smelled something. Not in the air, not with his nose, but with his mind, a stink like fruit gone over, high and sick-sweet. And under that tangy seawater, salty and bizarrely refreshing.
So this is how insanity smells, a part of his mind observed, and then he walked inside.
He had his printing kit, and at one point he did retain enough presence of mind to brush the desk and the fixtures on the tiny adjoining bathroom for prints. There werent any, and it didnt surprise him. Mostly he just waited, walking back and forth, not really looking around. Whatever he was here to find, it would appear. Whether he wanted it to or not.
It came in a jolt of pain, his gloves offering no protection when his fingers brushed the back of the ladder-back chair. His fingers clamped down hard, and he threw his head back as the room imploded with strobing images.
Some of them were vaguely familiar. The elderly woman, weeping as if her heart were shattered into a million pieces: hadnt he seen her before? The house, like something from his own childhood, old but oddly brilliant inside his mind.
He didnt feel the blood start to run from his nose. The images were too many: a wan, pinched girl, maybe sixteen, gazing at him with huge dark eyes that were far, far older than they should have been; a woman in her late twenties or early thirties, holding a small furry body in her arms -- a cat? -- and shaking her head. A dark-skinned man with suspenders and a brilliant smile, laughing as he pointed at the giant bloodstain on his shirt.
More, and he paid feverish attention, trying to memorizing nanosecond-long glimpses of people hed never met, never seen before. The air smelled different now, attar of roses and the coppery taste of water from an old elementary school fountain. So many faces, how could there be so many? He choked on the perfume smell and heard someone else laughing. The sound made him feel young, younger than Buster, younger than hed been when he found Buster and the others, when hed started knowing things that no one could know, only no one believed him, they laughed and shook their heads and whispered things where he didnt think theyd hear. He wanted to cry, from sheer tired fright.
The panorama vanished, popping loudly, and the room narrowed to a single laser-sharp beam of white light, making him blink and squint. And then cry out when a mans voice shrieked, "MINE! Get out! I need them, and you cant take them away from me! Get out getoutgetoutgetout!"
He blinked, and felt the beds ragged chenille spread pressing against his cheek. Sitting on the floor, howd he gotten here? And stuff on the spread, too, dark stuff that looked like
Nick uttered a hoarse cry and lurched to his feet, and heard the air buzzing with voices, whispers. Trapped, he was trapped here with that awful voice, that presence that turned his bladder to a hot aching stone in his abdomen, tense with absolute terror. That voice was the thing Buster used to tell him about, in the dark when everyone else was asleep, family and his friends, too. The voice of the man with the sharp teeth and glittering eyes who hid behind the dresser and only came out when Nicky was alone, defenseless.
And for a second he really couldnt get out: the door was stuck, and he jiggled the knob and heard the high scary whine coming from his own throat, tasted the blood in the back of his mouth. But it relented finally, and he staggered out into the main room, drawing in great drafts of fresher air and then coughing when he choked, spitting out bright red in wads on the worn carpet.
Behind him the door slammed with a sound like a shotgun being fired next to his ear. He flinched and cried out, but when he looked it was only a door. A closed door.
"Nick? Whats taking so -- Jesus."
He didnt look up, just stood there leaning forward with his hands braced on his knees, coughing. "Here," Grissom said in a scared, gruff voice. A wad of tissues waved in front of Nicks face, and he grabbed them and held them against his nose.
When he finally met Grissoms eyes, he felt a sharp stab of new misgiving. There was no understanding in Grissoms gaze, no memory at all. Just as the voice had told him.
"What happened? Did you fall?"
A terrible urge to laugh bubbled up in Nicks belly, and he fought it down savagely before nodding. "Yeah. Just a nosebleed." He swallowed copper. "Anyone find anything?"
Grissom shook his head. "No, I was just waiting on you to finish up." His blue eyes were cloudy, a little unfocused, and he probed his temple with his fingers.
"Headache?"
"Yeah." Grissoms voice sounded a little foggy, as well. "You know, McAda, before he left he said he had a headache, too." He gazed at Nick, and the expression on his face gave Nick a pang of savage unease. "Did something happen?" he asked, almost plaintively. "I dont remember."
Drawing a deep breath, Nick shrugged. "I think whoever this guy is, he was using some heavy solvents," he said evenly. "My head aches, too. But the house is clean." He almost flinched, saying it, but kept the calm look on his face with effort. "Nothing here. You wanna clear out?"
"We should go back to the lab." Grissom shook his head slowly. "This -- I dont think hell come back."
"No," Nick agreed with more vigor. "Hes done here."
He followed Grissom to the truck, and took the keys sadly from the mans fingers. "You got any Advil?"
Grissom walked around to the passenger door and nodded. "Back at the lab."
"Good."
When he put his hand on the drivers-side door, the mans voice said, "Good work. But you need to rest."
Nick froze. "Who are you?" he repeated. "Tell me."
"It doesnt matter. I know whats going on. You have information now. Use it, Nick. Carmodys right. Youre the key."
"The key to what?" Nick whispered. The small hairs on the back of his neck tickled.
"Stopping him. Before its too late."
"Whats he going to do?"
The answer chilled him in its simplicity. "Kill. Over and over again, until he reaches the place he wants to be. You know what that place is. You cant let him get there. No matter what it takes, you have to stop him."
"Nicky?" Grissom peered at him over the top of the Tahoes cab.
"The people I saw," Nick breathed, staring at nothing. "He killed them, didnt he?"
"Yes. Some of them long ago. I cant stay, Nick. I dont have the strength. Do what you have to do. Ill come when I can."
"Come here?"
"Yes. But youll have to do it without me. Its going faster now." The mans even voice was fading, and Nick found himself straining to hear. "Its circling, like water in a drain. Its building, and I wont be there in time. You have to do it, Nick. Its up to you."
"Dont go," Nick said jerkily, and heard the mans soft laughter.
"Ill be back. Take care of your friend."
"Nick."
He flinched, seeing Grissom standing a foot away, face twisted with new worry. "Nick, who are you talking to?"
"I dont know," Nick said with a shiver.
Grissom nodded slowly. "Its more of what you can do, isnt it?" His face was rapt and tense. "Something happened. In the house."
"I saw things. People. The people hes killed."
"Father Martinez?"
"Further back than that. So many, I dont --" Nick broke off and swallowed blood-flavored spit. "We have to hurry," he whispered raggedly. "Theres not much time."
Grissom frowned. "Time until what?"
"Until he does what he wants to do."
"And what is that, Nick? Tell me what he wants."
"I dont know what it is. I only know we cant let him succeed."
The furrow in Grissoms brow grew deeper. "People will die."
"I think --" Nick swallowed again. "I think if he succeeds, well all die."
To be continued ~~ 9/7/04